The Unlikely
by swabloo
Summary: Naruto Harry Potter crossover! There's more to the Hatake white chakra than meets the eye, and combined with a deadly curse the effects are improbable, at best. When realities and timelines merge, a deadly, lazy, porno addicted assassin is born.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm sorry. So, SO sorry – I know I should be trying to finish IR: LOTR, but this plot bunny hit me like BAM! And I can't get it out of my head.

**The Unlikely**

**Chapter One**

"_Avada Kedavra."_

Two simple words, created to take that of creation; Life. Life is judged by the years you live, from birth to death. What would happen, say, if the curse went wrong – reacted with an unforeseen, deadly force - and instead of taking away your years of life, took instead the years you would live? Or at least, tried to.

Not much is known about the legendary Hatake white chakra, other than it is lightning like, powerful, and extremely volatile. Chakra, like magic, flows through your body like blood as your life source. If it where to be violently disrupted, and stripped away, you would die.

However, as previously stated, white chakra is volatile, and not like ordinary chakra. Being so violently disrupted in such a way, for example, like the Avada Kedavra, would cause it to react in the same sort of violent way.

And if, perhaps, this white chakra happened to be the unseen, deadly force that made the curse go wrong, strange things would happen.

Like being sent back in time.

What if white chakra was a recessive gene, and only surfaced when – oh, just say it – violently disrupted? Maybe with an Avada Kedavra, of course.

What possibility would there be, then, that a child born from an old, powerful family would posses such a gene? And would be hit with an Avada Kedavra, before its magic matured, and was at its most volatile?

Well, it wouldn't die. But it _might _cause the Hatake gene to surface, spark throughout it's system and practically rebound the curse back into its caster, the sudden influx of chakra carving a lightning bold scar somewhere on the child's body – most likely where the curse struck, and the chakra first awakened.

Such an influx of chakra could also be such a shock and charge that it would overload the cells closest to it, which might be the ones giving the head's hair colour. Well, if such a thing were to happen, then it's all too likely that the child's once dark hair wouldn't be so dark anymore. But it's also unlikely that such a curse would hit anywhere near that spot, of course.

However, the resulting effect of such a magical and chakra infused conflict might follow the previously mentioned theory and bodily send the infant into the past, in an incredibly random direction and place – say, fourteen years, at least.

This infant would die fourteen years earlier than it was supposed to, but it would also be fourteen years older than it should be, at any given time.

But really, what are the chances of that ever happening?

**A/N**: So… What do you guys think? Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto and Harry Potter, the deaths would be more angsty and bloody. As Harry Potter is a children's book, I think you can guess that it isn't mine.

**The Unlikely**

**Chapter Two**

Hatake Sakumo stared. And stared some more.

What were the chances of finding a crying, burnt and bleeding baby in the middle of an old dirt path on the way home from a mission? Very Unlikely. But apparently, altogether possible.

He sighed, before leaning down and gently picking up the infant, grateful that he'd bathed and scrubbed himself raw in a river earlier, all traces of blood gone from his person. No need to traumatise the already apparently traumatised youth.

He bounced the baby awkwardly, patting it's back. It _gurgled. _Then cried some more.

Sakumo frowned, took out a bandage from his pack, and carefully wound it around the infant's forehead, where a nasty looking gash was bleeding. _'Where would a child get something like that…?'_ it would definitely scar something horrid. He looked around, seeing that he had stopped almost in the middle of nowhere. The only settlement close by was Konoha, and he hadn't heard anyone moving through the trees, or sensed any chakra signatures. So where had the baby come from…?

He put the remaining bandages back, pondering this very, very strange phenomenon. Babies don't just appear out of thin air! (Oh, if only he knew.) But either way, it _was_ a baby, and therefore needed looking after – he'd take it with him to Konoha, and see if Sandaime-sama had received any missions concerning missing babies.

Heck, if it where his, _he'd_ want it back – it was a darn good-looking kid! Of course, the silvery-white messy hair had absolutely _nothing_ to do with his opinion.

He shifted the baby, looking at its face – it looked eerily familiar somehow, and gave him the feeling that he'd just looked in the mirror. But there was something very odd about this infant – hadn't its green eyes been a lot lighter a minute ago?

oOoOoOo

Yep. He'd been right – the kid's eyes had been a lot lighter. By the time he reached Konoha, they'd carried on getting darker until they'd settled at an almost black colour, as if the very life had been sucked out of them – but that wasn't possible, so maybe it was just a bloodline awakening after some horrible accident, like the Uchiha's Sharingan? Yeah, that was probably it.

He dropped the baby off with a – very delighted – nurse, absolutely _not_ feeling upset or protective that someone else was holding him – yes, Him. Sakumo had (unfortunately) found out along the way to the village, when _it_ had started emitting a rather repulsive smell, that more than just tickled his sensitive senses.

Finally, he was at the Hokage's circular office. Sarutobi listened politely to his report, humming in thought at the details he revealed. Sakumo threw in a random comment about the infant he had found, not stopping the flow of the report. It took Sarutobi a few seconds to process what had been said.

"I'm sorry – what? Did you say something about a _baby?_"

"Yes – I found one on my way back from the mission."

"'Found it'? Like a stray dog?" Sarutobi looked incredulous.

Sakumo frowned. "There's nothing wrong with dogs!"

Sandaime sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Either way, I'll get the medics to perform a blood test – the babe might be related to someone in the village. Thank you for the report, Hatake-san. Dismissed."

oOoOoOo

Sakumo had been dining with his wife when a Chunin messenger came to summon him to the Hokage's office. Apparently, it was urgent, but not For-The-Sake-Of-Someone's-Life urgent, more of a Get-your-butt-here-_rightnow_ urgent. He quickly complied, knowing the effects of denying such a summon first hand.

When he arrived, the Hokage looked grim at first glance. With a closer look, Sakumo saw a mischievous twinkle in is eyes and a wry quirk to the lip.

Sakumo froze. This could only mean one thing – Sarutobi had found something he thought was 'good for him'. Maybe he could run? No – there were ANBU posted all around the building. Darn. Better get it over with…

"What is it you want, Sandaime-sama? It's late, I'm rather tired, and I just got back a few hours ago."

"Not to worry, Hatake-san. I'm not sending you on another mission. Although…" He paused, reaching into a box-like object behind him and lifted out a strange bundle of blankets, "I believe this is yours…?"

It was no mere bundle of blankets. Sakumo felt that his jaw would have dropped, had he not had great self-control.

"Are you kidding me? I can't look after a baby, I'm a Jōnin. Besides, it isn't mine."

The Hokage coughed. "Well, actually, your DNA and his match almost perfectly. You both even have the same… specific… Genetic anomalies."

Sakumo's self-control vanished. "_What?_ You can't mean – white chakra?"

The Hokage nodded solemnly. "There is no doubt. I wasn't aware you had any remaining family…?"

" Neither was I… But, what do I do now?" He was in a daze. _Family?_

"Well, being the genetically closest father this boy will ever have, I'd say that adoption seems to be the best logical choice. Only you can sufficiently train the child in his Bloodline Limit."

Sakumo was silent, staring down at the babe now secure in his arms, sleeping peacefully. He could see the similarities between them – so glaringly obvious! How had he convinced himself before that there was no possible way they were related?

"All right. However, there is one thing, Hokage-sama. What do I tell my wife?"

Sarutobi smiled, face pleasantly wrinkled.

"Tell her she is a mother."

oOoOoOo

A spiky white longhaired man crouched over a giggling toddler, murmuring words in a low voice. Something orange was clutched in his hands.

"Jiraiya-san, what the _hell_ are you doing?" Sakumo growled out, entering the room.

Jiraiya turned quickly, a sheepish grin on his face as he stuffed the orange _thing_ into his pouch. Unfortunately, the movement was not fast enough to evade the notice of Konoha's white fang.

"Jiraiya..." He began, low and dangerous. "_Are you reading your pathetic dirty excuse of literature to. My. Son?"_

The Sannin laughed, scratching the back of his head.

"No, no, of course no-"

"Icha Icha!" Squealed a baby's voice.

Slowly, the two men turned to see the messy silver-haired toddler grinning, and seeing that said toddler had their attention, the young boy repeated the two new words he had learnt that day.

"Icha Icha!" He squealed. Well, technically it was only one word. But it was one word more than enough to make Sakumo's blood boil

Sakumo hunched, poised to strike. "_Ji-Rai-YA!" _There was a yelp from the other man as he gave chase, kunai in hand.

Meanwhile, a two-year-old Hatake Kakashi frowned cutely at the two strangely behaving adults, scratching absently at the lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead.

oOoOoOo

"Sakumo…" The voice came from behind him, wavering, hesitant.

He looked up, seeing his wife standing in full Jōnin uniform, a detached look on her face.

"What's wrong?" He asked, almost fearing the answer.

"Well, I…" She paused, as if looking for the right words, "I'm going on a mission. A class."

"What? No! Your leg, it isn't -"

"I know perfectly well that my leg isn't fully healed yet, Sakumo." Her glare was stern. "But, we need the money."

"Why? I'm doing plenty of high ranking missions, there's no need to put yourself in any unnecessary danger."

She sighed, shaking her head. "If only. Sakumo-kun, that was _before_ we had a son. He's three now, and children cost a lot of money, especially with how fast you go through your equipment –"

"I can cut down, really –"

"No, Sakumo. You know as well as I do that would only hinder you."

"But – but there are plenty of Genin, Chunin and Civilian parents that don't need the extra money –"

She shook her head, sitting on the couch beside him. "That may be, but I know how much my leg treatment cost us. I know you've been taking more missions to try to pay off the costs, but you're getting exhausted, and –"

"It doesn't matter if I'm-"

"For Kami's sake, Sakumo, I'm not an invalid! It's _my_ leg, _I'll_ pay for it!" She shouted out, before her anger deflated. "Besides, at least one of us needs to be home to look after Kakashi, and don't you dare say a Genin can do it! He's special, and his chakra control isn't right yet – you need to spend more time with him, to get him in control of the white chakra."

He hesitated. "Well-"

"Please…?"

He sighed, wrapping his arms around her, embracing all the comfort she offered. "All right – but _be careful_."

She laughed, and kissed him. "Don't worry – I'm a big girl! Besides, _someone_ needs to be a good role model – Hey!" He playfully shoved her shoulder, and in retaliation she took his hair out of it's band and messed it up. A mighty struggle for the rubber band ensued.

Unbeknownst to them, Kakashi had been outside of the semi-closed door since he had first heard raised voices. He was smart for his age, a genius – and he knew it wasn't right for his mum to be going on a mission, he'd seen how she'd sometimes limped around the house.

A high-pitched squeal came from inside the room, and Kakashi quickly decided that no, he did _not_ want to hear this.

oOoOoOo

Kakashi's mother had been going on missions for a few months now, and while the atmosphere was stressed around the house, everything was fine, at least until her sixth mission.

For Kakashi, the first clue that something was wrong was when he'd heard his father break down crying in the kitchen.

The second had been the opened scroll stamped with the – now cracked – personal seal of the Hokage, dropped haphazardly next to his father, a black ribbon still partially wrapped around it.

Hesitating – _his father was crying! _– He picked up the letter, carefully unfolded it, and began to read.

'_Dear Sakumo-kun,_

_I regret to inform you of your wife's death on her previous B class miss-'_

Kakashi froze, eyes wide. No, no, nonononono…

It was all his fault – _all his fault!_ She was – his mother was dead! Never coming back! And all because of him! Because he couldn't look after himself –

All. His. Fault.

Harsh, angry tears welled in his eyes, only to be pushed back down as Kakashi spun around, rushing outside into the dense woods where he could take out all of this new, foreign emotion on objects that could sport the gauges from his kunai.

Sakumo hadn't even noticed his only son had been and gone.

A week later, Hatake Kakashi became the youngest person ever to join the shinobi academy.

oOoOoOo

Graduation. Joy. It was so _ridiculously _easy, it had only taken him a year and a half to complete the academy. Kakashi looked around at his 'year mates' – he said the term loosely, as they were all seven years older than him – and frowned, rolling his eyes. They were all immature. Was this really the next generation of shinobi? There was no way any of them were ready to kill. Perhaps not even him. He was only five, after all.

He paused in his thoughts as the Chunin instructor said his name.

' – Will be apprenticed to Namikaze Minato. Team eight will –"

Apprenticed? Well, he supposed it was because he was so much younger than everyone else. At least he'd get lots of one-on-one training, and he'd heard of Minato-san, who apprenticed to one of the legendary Sannin. He was probably very powerful. He'd give him a chance at least, he thought with a wry grin.

Later, when he first met his sensei, with his loud yellow hair and wide grin, Kakashi thought he might have to re-think that decision.

oOoOoOo

Kakashi was no ordinary child, and didn't quite think like one, as his sensei had found out at their third team meeting.

"Yosh! All right, Kakashi-kun, tell me – how many ways could you kill someone with _this?'_ He smirked, raising a blunt senbon for his student to see.

Kakashi didn't stop talking for two minutes. And that was only _after_ Minato had told him to stop, his face white at the thought that a _child_ had been raised like that.

"Oh-kaay… I see you know a lot about weapons. What do you do at home?"

Kakashi paused in thought, before shrugging. "Train, I guess."

"Really? Don't you do anything with your dad?" Minato was shocked.

Kakashi looked down. "Not really. Ever since – since Kaa-chan died, all he does is take missions. And he doesn't train me, since I finished all my chakra control exercises when I was in the academy, so…" He shrugged.

Scratch that, Minato was speechless. "whaa-? Not even – don't you guys, like, talk?"

Kakashi visibly brightened, nodding. "Yep, sure we do! Whenever he's home, we always eat together, and talk a lot then."

Minato didn't know what to feel. Kakashi was good – darn good for his age, with exceptional potential. Yet, it didn't feel right, to be training a five-year-old how to kill someone with blunt objects as quickly and bloodless as possible.

oOoOoOo

Hatake Kakashi had strange and terrible nightmares. His sensei found out on their first mission outside the borders of Konoha, a simple D class to deliver a scroll.

It wasn't much that had given his student away, but he was trained by a Sannin, and when the person next to him, no matter how small, woke with a jerk and harsh breathing, it wasn't easy for Minato _not_ to wake up.

Minato waited until Kakashi's breathing had evened out, then rolled over, propping his head up on an arm. The movement surprised Kakashi, who jumped slightly, turning his head to face his.

"What's up?"

"Nothing…"

Minato smirked. "You don't sound so sure."

"It's nothing!" Kakashi bristled, and started turning around again to face away from his sensei, but was stopped by the hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see a sad, inquiring face.

"Did you have a nightmare, Kakashi-kun?"

He nodded, slowly. Minato sighed.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of! Everyone gets nightmares." He paused, seeing the downhearted look on his student's face. "What was it about?"

"… Green light…"

Minato was sure he had misheard him. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I've had this nightmare for as long as I can remember… It's always of this bright, green light… It hurts, sensei. It feels like it's burning me from the inside out. And…"

"Yes…?"

"It… It really scares me…"

oOoOoOo

The Chunin exam was something Kakashi would remember for a very long time, for several reasons. He was six, the youngest Genin to ever take the exam and pass. He made his first kill in the forest of death – a popular area for the second exam. And his father watched him in the final exam. Smiling _proudly_. Of _him_.

Then, Kakashi went and ruined it all, by failing the semi-final round. He was in a daze as he left the arena, walking towards his sensei who grinned at him, ruffling his shock of white hair, telling him how well he had done. But Kakashi was no-longer paying attention, staring over Minato's shoulder at his father in a mix of hope and apprehension.

He had failed, and (in his mind) shown that he couldn't look after himself. It was no different than when his mother had died – hadn't he learnt _anything?_

He was therefore shocked when his father warmly put his hand on his shoulder, smiling.

"You did really well, Kakashi-kun! You'll definitely make Chunin."

"What? But – I failed!"

Sakumo frowned. "For Kami's sake, you're only six. You did your best, which is far better than any other's your age. I'm proud of you."

Kakashi left the arena, so happy with himself that he could burst with joy. He laughed as he sat upon his father's shoulders, basking in the warmth of the sun.

oOoOoOo

Then the madness started. Kakashi had noticed the rising tension between the Shinobi ranks, the tense looks, and the faint murmurings of Stone Shinobi moving closer to their borders. It was on everyone's minds – imminent war. He'd be a fool not to notice; he was a Shinobi, after all.

He felt disconcerted by the odd, sad looks that his father gave him whenever he came home tired from an increasingly more difficult training session with Minato-sensei. The differences with his training was subtle, but he knew that, however unwilling to put him in a battle situation at his age, Minato-sensei was slowly preparing him for war.

It seemed, only weeks after his seventh birthday that everything suddenly had gone wrong. The tension was raised triple fold, both shinobi and civilians were openly talking of war, and it seemed a wide animosity was spread against his father – and him, by association.

"_Look at him – just like his father. He's going to turn out just like him."_

"_-Look the same! Traitors and failures, the both of them."_

"_-Just like his father-"_

"_-Traitor-"_

"_-Failure-"_

"_-Caused this war!"_

However much his father tried to hide it from him, he knew that it was his father's fault that the stone-leaf war was now more brutal and open than ever.

His father seemed to become more and more distant, and Kakashi had caught him stare at himself in the mirror in guilt, shame and anger more than once since the war started.

Why?

All because his father didn't follow the rules.

How _stupid_ could you be? Those rules were put in place for a reason! The mission above the comrade – he'd read the rule book hundreds of times, and so had every other shinobi – so why did his father just _break_ one of the biggest rules?

He didn't understand.

oOoOoOo

It was dark when he got home from training. Sighing as he opened the door and slipped off his sandals, he wearily called out a greeting.

None returned. Which was odd, seeing as he knew his father was home. So why wasn't he answering? Had he fallen asleep? Or, his paranoid side whispered, could it be something else?

Carefully and quietly, he made a quick sweep of every commonly used room in the house – nothing. That left only one room; the one he had trained in, for as long as he could remember.

He approached the door, pressing an ear against it – nothing. Not a sound. Maybe he had fallen asleep during training?

Kakashi slid the door open, and stepped a few paces inside, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the moonlight as it streamed in from a high window, the only source of light in the otherwise dark room.

It took but a few seconds, then his gaze swept the room, landing and focussing on the large shape in the centre.

He had found his father, but something wasn't right. He was slumped over, head bowed. That wasn't a natural position – no way he'd fallen asleep in it.

"Father…?" He whispered, walking closer – bare feet slapping against the wooden floor – cold wood, cold wood – warm and wet-

Warm and wet.

He froze, eyes wide, before looking down at what he was standing in. It was a large puddle – but too dark in the room to see what colour it was. As he stood, the smell wafted towards him, and with a sense of horrifying dizziness, he realized what it was.

Blood.

His father's blood.

_Everywhere._

It was all around him, and mostly – oh god, there was so much – his father was covered in the stuff, and as he stumbled closer, he slipped – caught himself with his hands – and stared up at his father's slack and lifeless face.

"No – no- Father!" He choked out, hands reaching to clasp the older man's shoulders, shaking his shoulders.

"Wake – wake up!" The rational side of him told him it was futile, with all that blood he was already dead, far too gone for any chance of resuscitation. However, Kakashi wasn't being rational. He was in a state of shock, for once in his life completely acting his age, showing that really, he'd had very little in ways of experience in the world.

His hand's found a sword hilt, which his fingers followed – only to find it protruding from Sakumo's stomach.

Kakashi knew that the way his father had died was one of the longest and most painful ways to die.

His gut wrenched, bile rose. He dry heaved, shakily keeping upright on his hands and knees. He sat back on his feet, staring at the bloody scene, a strange, hot heat spiralling up his body and through his limbs. His hand's clenched as this feeling – chakra? – Almost overpowered his senses.

He had to get away – run, as fast as he could – this _power_ was building, stifling – had to get _out!_

He stumbled to his feet, swaying as he rushed towards the doors facing the forest – flung them open, and rushed outside into the dense foliage, a faint trail of bloody footsteps behind him.

He ran and ran and ran – Until he could hold it in no longer, and screamed – because _oh god_ it _burned_ him, exploding and imploding, ripping apart the trees around him. It danced and slashed around him in a turbulence of different colours – the ground was gone, he was floating – hanging – hurting –

It stopped. Suddenly and without warning. He dropped – or was that just his imagination, for surely he would have felt something when he landed – and the insane tornado calmed, the wind retreating.

He felt empty and raw, as if his very soul had been laid bare.

He lifted his arm – it felt so _heavy_ – to wipe away he last of his tears, which were cold and stinging against his smooth skin, then let his arm flop back down, energy spent. His head lolled to the side, unable to resist sleep any longer.

oOoOoOo

The footsteps that approached in a hurried manner woke him long before Minato rushed into the clearing, shouting his name, clutching him in a desperate half hug.

"Kakashi – oh, Kakashi! God, I was so worried, when I saw – when I saw your father – I –"

Kakashi opened his eyes, and mumbled, "Ah c'n 'splain, sensei…"

Minato's eyes widened. "Nononono, it's not your fault! None of it's your fault, 'kay? You hear me, Kakashi-kun?"

"Wha-?" Kakashi looked around the clearing, to find – nothing. There were no signs of destruction; of the harsh power he had been unable to control the night before. As if everything had been repaired – but that was impossible!

He tried to look up at his sensei, but he could no longer muster the energy to keep his eyes open.

The last thing he felt before falling in the blissful abyss of sleep was strong arms lifting him gently, and the jolting motion of being rushed away.

oOoOoOo

Kakashi never told anyone what had happened that night. He became distant and cold, reciting and following the rules more strictly than even some of the most seasoned shinobi. The biggest change, however, was when he'd started wearing a black mask over two thirds of his face.

Every time someone had looked at him, he'd hear a scornful remark about him, and his father. Every time he glanced at his reflection, he no longer saw himself, but a strange replica of his father.

He was seven. He didn't realize that something must have been wrong with his mentality when he could no longer look at his own face.

oOoOoOo

"_Wait here, Kakashi-kun! I'll be back – with your new teammates! Won't that be fun?"_

'_Team-mates'?_ He was twelve! He'd been a two-man team for seven years – he didn't need any 'team-mates'. Feh.

But, he was _bored._ Minato-sensei had forbidden him to train before he came back, so it's not like he could practice and try to refine his new move. Although…

He paused, concentrating on the rock in front of him. With a flick of his wrist, it levitated, and zoomed towards him. Technically, this wasn't a shinobi art, so it wouldn't count as 'training'.

After that – that day, he'd awoken something… _more_ inside of him. It was like chakra, but so much more flexible. He'd felt it's power after he'd ran, so had tried to call back that feeling. It had taken him a few months to manage to do anything, but it had been worth it.

At first, he'd tried focusing this power through words – it didn't work.

He had pondered upon this for many days, before trying to mould it like chakra, through hand movements – didn't work.

Until one day, he'd made a breakthrough. He was eight, and had been staring at his reflection, mask off. He'd felt so _angry_ at the image, at his father, that he just wanted it to break, so he wouldn't have to see it, every damn day.

The mirror broke.

Well, that would be an understatement. It had shattered, cracked and almost literally exploded – but none of the shards of fine glass had touched him. After that day, he'd realized that he'd been going about his power wrong all along – it didn't matter what he said or did, it was all about intent.

Of course, it hadn't been easy. Words and hand movements had helped a lot, and he'd been practicing so much that he didn't even need to speak the order out loud, and only needed the barest of movements.

This power was _incredible_. It was like – like he could do anything. Anything his imagination desired, he could do it – if he had enough control, and enough power left. If he tried to do lots of it all at once, he felt exhausted – like chakra exhaustion, he observed. It acted almost exactly like chakra. For example, when he was 'summoning' something to him, if he used too little of his power, it would either not move at all, or barely move at all, or not enough. If he used too much, the aim would be off, or it would go too fast and powerfully – he'd almost impaled himself once when summoning a scroll, and would have, too, were it not for his shinobi reflexes.

Back to the present; Kakashi was about to attempt summoning the rock to him without any movement, when he heard people approaching. He let go of his control over the rock, letting it drop to the ground.

His sensei jaunted into the training ground, a wide cheery grin on his face, followed by two snot nosed _brats._

One had spiky jet-black hair and wore _goggles_ of all things. And on his back was a red and white mushroom – sorry, fan. So, he was an Uchiha, huh? He didn't look as good as his clan's reputation. Great. A dropout.

The other was a brown haired girl, with markings on her face, under her eyes – not an Inuzuka, they weren't pointy enough, and she didn't have a dog with her. She looked like a wanabe medic.

Minato-sensei grinned at him. "Hey there, Kakashi-kun! Sorry we're late – Obito had to go to the bathroom. He's the guy. The other one's Rin – your new teammates!"

Kakashi looked at them both, realization that he would be fighting a war with them sinked in.

Great. They were going to get him _killed._

oOoOoOo

Obito. Was. _Annoying._

And weak and late and didn't take being a shinobi seriously. And he wondered why Kakashi acted cold towards him? Idiot.

Rin, whilst being an able medic, was annoying in her own 'special' way. Although, at least she wasn't as bad as some of his fangirls - she gave him space and respected his privacy. Now, if only he could get Minato-sensei to act the same way… Without the giggling…

He'd tried to take the Jōnin exam a few years previously, but his sensei hadn't allowed it; he had said he was special, but not _that_ special. Besides, they'd been so busy these last few years because of the war, that he hadn't really had enough time to take the exam. However, now that he had a team, they'd slowed down to D and low C rank missions, because his teammates were only fresh out of the academy, and weren't ready for anything more. So, when he was almost thirteen, Kakashi found that he had enough time to try the Jōnin exam.

It had been hard – everyone was bigger than him, having the advantage of height and weight. However, he'd had that advantage as well – no one really expected a twelve year old to be _good. _He kicked ass, if he said so himself! And the examiners had been impressed when he'd managed to kill a Jōnin – well, figuratively speaking, as he wasn't allowed to kill another leaf shinobi – especially in the midst of a war. If he had, he wouldn't have passed – but he managed it, regardless.

When he showed up at training after the exam to show Minato his new Jōnin vest – he couldn't wear it, because they didn't make them his size – sensei had been proud, patted him on the back, and expressed his glee. He'd also promptly strutted around like an overenthusiastic peacock, rushing to find other Jōnin's so that he could show off the fact that _his_ student was the youngest Jōnin, ever.

Obito had scowled, calling him a show off, and moodily stormed away. Rin had blushed, smiled and congratulated him. In reply, Kakashi stared at her, then turned away, walking to a more secluded training ground.

He didn't need friends, anyway. Friends where what caused his father to start this war. They would only drag him down, and put him under guilt whenever they got themselves killed – or got him killed.

He hoped they wouldn't be bothersome on his first mission as team leader.

oOoOoOo

(A/N: Enter Kakashi Gaiden – because you all know it, and re-writing a scene you all know is stupid, especially when I'll probably write it worse than the original nn;;)

oOoOoOo

He'd been wrong – so, so wrong. The beliefs he'd based his life on for the past _eight_ years had been shattered irreplaceably, rocking his foundations, with a sad grief filling in the now empty part of his soul.

Obito, the boy who had ended up being the best friend he could have ever asked for – the boy he had shunned, acted harsh towards – was dead. All because of him.

Yet another death that was his fault.

Even after the way Kakashi had acted towards him, Obito had still saved his life. _Why?_ Yet another thing he didn't understand.

He had followed the rules, chosen to complete the mission – and in the end, he'd gone to save his comrades life.

Saved one, lost the other.

In a way, it was ironic; his father had saved one, and lost another.

Saved his comrades, lost his honour.

Perhaps everyone else had been right all along – he was just like his father. Looked the same, and now acted the same.

They may both be failures – but it felt _right._

But the next time he looked at his reflection, mask down and hitai-ate removed, he saw not himself, but his father and Obito.

The mirror broke.

\

oOoOoOo

Fourteen – not a lucky number, and the worst year of Kakashi's life. He'd been a Jōnin for more than a year – but what did that matter, when he couldn't save Rin? Didn't make a difference against the Kyubi. Couldn't help his sensei – fuck, couldn't even fulfil his last request to tell his wife that he loved her – his wife was dead! Died in childbirth. EVERYONE was dead.

His mother.

His father.

His best friend.

The girl who loved him.

The woman who had acted as a mother, in the last years of her life.

Minato. His sensei.

He was mentally screwed up, and he knew it. How often had he had to attend counselling sessions? How many medics had reviewed his mental state, and left frowning?

This was the reason he joined ANBU. Everyone in it had problems – he'd fit right in. You had to have a problem to choose a lifestyle where you murdered, none stop.

oOoOoOo

It was the last day of October, and Kakashi was home, as he had only recently completed yet another mission. He thought it would be just like every other night, bar the ones with missions, but even those became predictable.

He found out just how wrong he was, when all of a sudden his scar seemed to split open, the immense pain blinding him as he collapsed to the ground, screaming harshly and clutching his forehead as it bled thick crimson rivulets.

It bled and bled and bled – Green light! HaaHAHAahahaHAaahAh – Green light! No, not Harry – HahaH- GREEN LIGHT! – Blood, everywhere, on his hands on his face – blank eyes – Oh G_Od It HuRts – MaKe It StOp – _GREEN LIGHT! WHITE! GREEN! AAAAAAAAHHAAAHAHAHA -

Darkness.

oOoOoOo

He woke in the morning light, body sore and aching – why? Oh, sleeping in an uncomfortable position. Limp. Saliva dried on his mouth, blood hardened and crusty on his hands on his face – the smell, _the smell,_ just like that day…

He forced himself up, shaking, as he stumbled to the bathroom and into the shower, the water hot and scolding – maybe he would _drown, so it would all go away…_

He got up, and looked at his reflection, again. Pale, drawn face. Mismatched eyes. A lightning bolt scar raw and red underneath a mop of messy silver hair.

The scar looked like it was fresh, as if it was just cut the night before – but that was _impossible_, he'd had it since he was less than two.

Kakashi dried himself off once more, before stumbling back into his bedroom to get changed, patting a whining Pakkun who looked sad and scared and worried – why should he? It was just a nightmare.

oOoOoOo

Later that day he'd been called to the Hokage's office – he thought it was another mission, as he'd been in ANBU for several months already. He was sore, and aching all over – he didn't want to go. However, he was a shinobi, and he was a good one. He would follow orders; no matter if he felt like he'd been dragged through hell and back again.

When he entered the office, the first thing he thought was – as usual – how it seemed so drab and wrong without Minato-sensei sitting behind that desk, a bright grin on his face. He was a good Hokage. He shouldn't have died.

Sarutobi looked at him gravely, holding what seemed to be a newspaper, but for one difference – the photographs _moved_. He sighed, and beckoned him closer, to sit. As Kakashi did so, the Hokage explained everything – how he'd been found, the adoption – and how he now believed he knew his real identity. Apparently, it was impossible – but with this 'magic', it was improbable, at best.

Apparently, Kakashi was good at doing the improbable.

The Hokage received the Daily Prophet, so as to keep up with what was happening in the Wizarding world – but of course Kakashi; you already know that, since those 'Death Eaters' were allies with the Rock shinobi, and I'm sure you killed more than your fair share.

Here was the real shocker – It seemed a boy with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead defeated the dark lord, yesterday. And disappeared.

Kakashi looked at the picture of the baby boy – taken weeks before the attack.

"Hokage-sama, I look _nothing_ like this boy."

"Perhaps. But, you _do_ have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead – even after all these years, I know it is still there. And I know you had a nightmare yesterday, Kakashi."

The hound masked ANBU froze in position.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Hokage-sama."

"Oh? You don't think that trained shinobi like myself and every other in the village wouldn't hear that racket you made?"

Silence.

"Don't worry, no one knows the truth about what happened last night. As your summoning scroll was on your bedside table, and there was plenty of your blood to use, I summoned Pakkun and asked him to watch over you, and to warn me if your 'condition' got any worse."

The Hokage paused, looking at Kakashi sadly. "I worry about you, Kakashi. You are like a grandson to me – please, take care of yourself. Don't worry about the Dark Lord Voldemort, I have my suspicions that he won't be any trouble for a while, yet."

Kakashi nodded, and stood to bow. "Thank you for being honest with me, Hokage-sama, and telling me about myself. I won't let Konohagakure down, or ever betray it. I am a Konoha shinobi, first and foremost."

Sandaime smiled. "I know, Kakashi – or, should I call you Potter Harry?"

Kakashi's smile was wan and grim. "I am not this 'Potter' anymore. I am a Hatake."

The Hokage's laughter could be heard as the masked ANBU left through the window, back home where a worried dog was waiting.

oOoOoOo

He knew he made a brilliant assassin, thanks to Obito's gift – he couldn't even count how many people's hearts he'd torn out. One by one by one, he slowly felt himself slipping from reality.

But he wouldn't loose himself – for all the people who died for him – and now, not ever, for his biological parents, who sacrificed themselves against a madman for him.

He would not let them down.

**A/N:** Oh. My. GOD! This chapter took ages – and I can hardly believe it's finished. Longest chapter I have ever written – over 6000 words! I find it almost funny how the story gets darker and darker as Kakashi/Harry gets older. Wow, he has a crappy life – albeit rather cool with his superhuman powers of awesomeness XD

I wouldn't expect another update for this story soon. I have exams in less than a months, absolutely loads of them, and I'm not even halfway through chapter seven of IR: LOTR, and thanks to school work it could be a few weeks until I finish that. But what a contrast! My other story is silly, light and fun, if a bit dark at times – and this one is the complete opposite. If you can't tell, I like the dark psychological fics about Kakashi.

I'd like to know if you like this chappy, and if y'all have any ideas, I'd love to hear them!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Yeah, I own Naruto. Because it's really a written story with Harry Potter characters and twists so hard they make your head hurt.

**The Unlikely**

**Chapter Three**

"They're openly working together again."

"I know…"

"I _told_ you."

"I know…"

" I _said_ that we would need to secure their help in advance – but oh no! They're nothing but _mercenaries_; we'd be no better than them, you said! And now what? We're knee deep in trouble!"

"I know…"

"They've already killed good men and women, and it's not like we have many people trained to fight those of their kind! We've all become too lax since You-Know-Who and his allies were defeated last time. Hardly anyone even knows what kind of weapons they use! We need help from _their sort_, and you know it."

"But, I-"

"No Buts! Don't you start that again. You've been looking for that boy for years-"

"He's not dead Minerva, just not-"

"Not here! Oh, and what if he's one of _them?_ Did you even think to look? Of course not! You can be such a senile old fool, sometimes…"

"I didn't dare ask, my dear. If he's one of them… Well, you know what that means."

"A killer? James and Lilly's son? It's a horrible thought… However, you're always harping on about how he's the only one who can defeat _him_. Perhaps a killer is what we need right now."

"… All right, I'll send an owl first thing in the morning."

"… Do you think they'll really help? It's been almost fifteen years since the Dark Lord fell. They might not want to get involved again, I know how many of them died last time…"

"We'll hope. That's all we can do for now, and pray that Lord Voldemort's search for Harry is as fruitless as ours."

oOoOoOo

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chyaaan! Check this out!"

CRRrrAcK-SsHHAbANG

"Naruto, you idiot! I was working on that!"

"Ah, ah! Not the face!"

"I'll give _you _face!"

"Not if you can't catch me! Nee hee heeaAAH!"

Kakashi sighed, smacking his face into his palm from where he sat at a nearby tree's base, reading his favourite smutty book. Oh, lord – would they _ever_ stop?

"Shut up, dobe! Some of us are actually trying to train here."

Ah, here comes the 'delightful' voice of 'reason'.

"Hey, teme! What makes you think I'm not training? And why are you only yelling at me, huh? Sakura was shouting too!"

"Yeah, but _she_ had a just reason! _And_ you sound way more annoying!"

Sasuke… Arguing? In a playful, silly way? Like, actually acting his age?

Someone check for the apocalypse.

Kakashi hit his head back against the tree. Again. And again. And again, as his two boys started scuffling, throwing away all shinobi finesse and skill. _Brawling._

_Why_ did he agree to supervise their training for the week? Just one week, Kakashi-san! It'll be just like old times – no, no, you're not old, really! Yes, I _know_ it wasn't that long ago that – oh, c'mon, be reasonable – They're shinobi, they wouldn't do that-! Naruto? Uh, well – he's matured, really! I mean – think about it? Hey – hey! It's a request from Hokage-sama!

… What do you mean, _no? _That you've had enough of those 'little hellions'? I taught them too, you know – no, _put that down,_ Kakashi san – no –

Oh, hello Tsunade-sama! Yes, we were just discussing it. Kakashi-san agreed – _didn't you,_ Kakashi-san?

Oh, right. He remembered now – _that_ was why he was doing it. Damn that Iruka, and his time-stalling-ways-until-the-Hokage-gets-there. He used it all the time, with the third.

Why did Tsunade have to go to that so called "all important meeting that yes, lasts all week – no, you don't need to know why yet – I don't _care_ that you just got your new 'technique' book – _you will supervise them_" with Jiraiya _and_ The ANBU captain? Why all three teachers of his ex-students? Was it karma? Yes, that was it – all those times he'd showed up late to a meeting, they were all coming back to him now, to bite him in the ass.

"_Teme-!"_

"_Dobe-!"_

"_IDIOTS!"_

And boy, did they bite back _hard._

But if he was honest with himself, he would give anything to keep them the way they were; because even though they were sixteen, shinobi, and had fought for their lives and the lives of others – they were still _children_, and could act like it. They had a childhood – which was more than he, or anyone from his generation, ever really had.

Eventually, their bickering wound down, and they drifted back to their own practices – Sakura, breaking apart the ground, Naruto, and healing him afterwards. Naruto, fighting Sasuke, getting broken and healed by Sakura, generally being an annoying twit. Sasuke… Just being Sasuke.

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, can you help me with-"

His visible eye creased with a grin. "Sakura-chan, you shouldn't call me that, I'm not your sensei anymore."

She rolled her eyes, and he complied to her request anyway, because even though he really wasn't their teacher anymore, they were still his kids.

oOoOoOo

They had been training long into the night, each exercise more brutal than the next, with Kakashi showing them some not-so-secret-anymore ANBU techniques and formations, when Shizune arrived.

Sakura was surprised to see her. "Oh! Have you just come back from that meeting, Shizune-sempai?"

The raven-haired woman nodded, and although pleased to see her part-time student, she wore her expression seriously.

"Hai. Tsunade-sama would like to see Kakashi-san immediately. Do you know where he is?"

"Behind you."

Shizune spun around, startled, to find that the Jōnin had indeed appeared behind her – although what she didn't know was that they had been in the middle of a specific training exercise, and Kakashi had been planning to ambush the three Chunin from a treetop when she had appeared in a flash of smoke. Kakashi had been wired to do battle, and had been dangerously close to attacking her when her arrival had startled him. Not that he would ever tell her – rather impolite, that, and all Jōnin had an in-house rule of sorts to never mention those kinds of occurrences. They were all too common among the many highly trained and paranoid shinobi.

He did his trademark eye smile, "Ah, what does Hokage-sama want?"

Shizune gave him a hard stare, her gaze flickering over the three Chunin on her other side. "Not here, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi nodded, and was about to leave, when Naruto burst out with annoyance.

"Hey! What's going on? Can't we come to?"

Shizune smiled at him. "Don't worry, you'll all be informed soon enough, as you'll probably get involved anyway. Tsunade-sama just needs to sort out a few details with Kakashi-san first."

As the two Jōnin left in a rather cool ninja-like way, they heard Naruto's parting remark.

"_What_ details?! Kakashi no baka is just as clueless as we are!"

oOoOoOo

Polished crimson nails grasped the white ceramic cup almost daintily, belying the innate strength in each one of those feminine fingers. The cup, filled to the brim with a hazy liquid, was quickly and brutally sloshed down the gullet of the world's most famous medic, and current Godaime Hokage.

'_No,'_ she thought sourly, as she filled her sake cup once more, _'today has not been a good day. At all.'_

Just as her alcohol was brought to her lips, two people jumped through the window – _the window –_ Kami damn it all, couldn't _anyone_ use the frickin' door? It wasn't there as a wall decoration! No, next time she'd block up that damn window – or, better yet, stand it front of it and _beat everyone one of those damn insolent bastards like a tennis ball –_ with just one finger, too…!

"Eh, heh, Tsunade… Sama? Ummm is everything… All right? Please – just – just stop glaring and – ah! The desk!"

Indeed, Shizune was wisely fearful of an angry looking Tsunade, and her words had caught the elder's attention to the – now broken – desk that she had been gouging her nails into.

Whoops. Tsunade chuckled sheepishly and hid her sake, because even though she could be a fearful sight, _nothing_ compared to her apprentice when she was trying to cut down her master's bad habits.

Her gaze lingered over Shizune's shoulder, to the silver-haired shinobi. She nodded to him in acknowledgment.

"Ah, Kakashi-san, so glad you're here. I want to talk to you about – well, you probably already know what's going on, don't you? Paranoid bastard." She spoke it was a grin – _all_ shinobi were paranoid.

Kakashi nodded. "Ah, I like to be informed of the happenings of our… Previous allies."

Tsunade sighed, "Then you probably know what I'm going to ask you, being who you are. And to be honest, you're probably the best equipped out of anyone in Konoha to travel into that sort of culture," Here she paused, giving him a questioning look, "You _have_ been keeping up with your 'studies', I take it?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Good… Look, I know this will be difficult for you-"

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

" – Well, okay, I know you are perfectly able to handle anything they throw at you, but still… I know how many bad memories those sort of people have caused you – you're far from being the only one who lost people to the Iwa-nin. Regardless, you're the best of the best, and that is why you're coming with me on a diplomatic mission of sorts, to talk with one Albus Dumbledore in regards to the previous contract he made with us. This 'mission' is indefinite, as we still need to sort out the details. I want you to pack accordingly. Do you understand?"

A swift nod.

"Okay. Oh, and before you go – this is, after all, a diplomatic mission, so we want to make… a _good _impression. I want you to notify the following shinobi to come to my office, immediately: Morino Ibiki, Hyuuga Neji, Yuuhi Kurenai, Yamanaka Inoichi, Haruno Sakura, Nara Shikamaru and Maito Gai. You don't need to tell the ANBU captain, he already knows."

Kakashi smirked. " I see you've chosen the best shinobi to be prepared for anything, ne? Although, why Shikamaru?"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Huh. If anything, I thought you would question the inclusion of your own student – who is, after all, my apprentice, which is why she is coming. Shikamaru? Well… He has the most brilliant mind in all of Konoha, I won't deny it, and if anyone could spot any flaw in the contract and quickly bring it up, it will be him. Plus," She smirked, " He's gotten quite handy with his family Jutsu's."

Kakashi nodded, satisfied with the explanation.

"Dismissed."

… "DAMNNIT, YOU BASTARDS! USE THE BLOODY DOOR!"

oOoOoOo

"What kind of super secret top mission do you think Kakashi-sensei is being sent on?" A whispered hush, as Uzumaki Naruto leaned in towards his two team-mates, a wicked grin on his face.

Sakura sighed, and lightly slapped the back of his head. "Naruto, don't be an idiot. It's classified, and we're still only Chunin. It's doubtful we'll find out."

"Aww, Sakura-chan…" Naruto pouted, before turning to Sasuke. "What do you think, bastard?"

Sasuke crossed his arms. "Hn. Sakura's right. But I do want to know what the big secret is. And didn't Shizune say we'd find out eventually?"

"Yeah, but I wanna know _now_… It might be aaages until we find out what it is!"

Poof. "Until you find out what what is?"

Naruto leapt back, a hand mockingly grasping his chest. "Gyaah! Kakashi-sensei! Don't _do _that!"

Kakashi chuckled, creasing his eye with a smile. Sakura - looking at one pouting team-mate, and the other one also pouting, although he would never admit it – decided to be forward.

"Kakashi-sensei, what was the meeting about? Can you tell us?"

His gaze swivelled to her. "Actually, that's why I'm here."

Naruto jumped back into attention, and even Sasuke looked up. "Yeah, yeah?"

"I'm here because I need to tell-"

"You're going to _tell_ us? What's it all about?"

"… I need to tell Sakura to pack for an indefinitely long mission, although I wouldn't say it would last longer than a week or two before we come back."

Naruto's face dropped. "_Sakura?! _ Why's _she_ going? I wanna go!"

Sakura growled, and not-so-lightly slapped the back of his head again. "Naruto! Don't be an idiot! If you're not going to find out what this is all about until later, then _deal with it."_

Sasuke, seeing Naruto laying face down in his own small crater and groaning, wisely decided to keep his mouth shut.

Turning back to Kakashi, Sakura grinned brightly. "Alright! When are we leaving?"

Kakashi smirked, although she couldn't see it. "Tonight – which is just under an hour, I believe, so you'd better pack fast."

With that, he 'poofed' away, leaving his former student to fret herself back home. With a sigh, he looked across Konoha. "One down, six to go, and maybe _then_ I can start packing…"

oOoOoOo

"YOSH! My eternal rival has finally arrived!" Maito Gai grinned, teeth flashing behind an impossibly wide grin. Neji, who was standing next to him, visibly flinched away, his left eye twitching in annoyance. Kakashi stared with a raised eyebrow, before turning to the Hokage who was standing in front of her desk, her shinobi organized in a semi circle before her. Shizune stood to the far side, watching – she would not be going, but would instead be staying here to run Konoha for however long the 'discussion' would last.

"Alright, listen up." Tsunade paused, gazing at them all with a deadly serious air about her. "This mission is of utmost importance, and there are many ways for it to go wrong. Despite our employer's willingness to work with us, he and many of his subordinates do not favour the shinobi way of life, and may feel threatened. You all know why, and it is because of this that I expect _all of you_," Her gaze was ice cold and piercing, "to be at your best and professional behaviour. This does _not_ mean that you will let them insult or otherwise demean any of us. You are strong, you will not show weakness."

The gathered shinobi had straight postures, tensed for what may come.

She paused, thinking of what to say. "I trust you all know of Kakashi's origins?"

They nodded (almost as one). Kakashi stared straight ahead, unblinking.

"Then you will understand that he is second in command for this mission, and if he advises you for or against something, you will comply, no matter how strange the request sounds. Understood?" Her tone gave them little choice.

"Alright, good," She took out a long rope, and passed it along them until everyone was holding a part of it, "This is a portkey, and object powered by magic for instantaneous group travel, and will take us to our clients destination. Brace yourselves, it'll go in three, two, one – "

The rope glowed with power – whilst they were all aware of it, only Neji could see it – and immediately, they seemed to spin together so fast in a split second that they were nothing but a blur.

Suddenly, all ten shinobi disappeared.

oOoOoOo

Albus looked over his half-moon glasses, watching the gathered people, sitting around a large table in the centre of the great hall, erected by the house-elves with enough room to seat all his guests. With a wry grin, he absently thought of how he rather doubted that anyone, other than the Hokage, would actually sit.

The people in the hall were all adults, members of the Order of the Phoenix, a vigilante group trying to help rid the world of Voldemort and his followers. Some of the children had tried to take part, namely certain Weasley twins, but their mother (and even father) had been unusually stern about not letting them in, despite being of age. This was understandable – they would be facing Shinobi, after all. So, all the children were currently housed in a closed off room, several floors above, sealed until one of the authorized adults let them out. He would be taking no chances.

Otherwise, the rest of the castle was empty, being two weeks into August, the students away on holiday.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. No one heard him over the chatter of people discussing the possible reasons for being here – he had told them this was a diplomatic meeting of importance, and had seen it fit not to tell them of the Shinobi until now. Many had had dealings with their kind in the last war, and would not look upon them lightly, and in the worst scenario, would not come here at all. The only ones he had told were Molly and Arthur, as they were the least prejudiced of the lot that he new of, and Arthur would have let the twins attend otherwise.

He sighed at their inattention, and fired a spark into the air with his wand. Immediately, the gathering quieted down enough for him to speak.

"No doubt you are wondering why this meeting is taking place in the great hall, rather than at headquarters," A murmur of agreement, "It is because, as you all know, potential allies of ours will be arriving via portkey shortly, and this hall gives the best first impression. I expect you all to conduct yourselves in an appropriate manner, and not to make any sudden or threatening movements to our guests, or in any way act insulting, as it may be the last thing you do. Shinobi, despite basically being contract killers, have a certain honour and pride about them."

A moment of silence followed his words, before it dawned on the rest exactly who they would be meeting with.

"Are you _insane, _Albus?" Roared 'Mad Eye' Moody, "They're an untrustworthy lot, and would stab you in the back, first chance they get!" The others looked similarly horrified.

He groaned. Petty prejudices. "Shinobi are men and women of their word, and would not betray us-"

"Yeah, unless someone paid them more to off us!"

Alastor was met with a cold, icy blue stare. "I would bid you not insult their kind any longer, as Minerva and I have spent a lot of time and hard work in order to secure a meeting with the leader of the shinobi village of Konohagakure. I admit that I had the same fears and opinions as you at first, but after meeting with three of them, I have somewhat changed my opinion, and I expect you all to do the same. Our first meeting opened my eyes, and I will not let a group of adults behaving like _children_ destroy our best hope against Voldemort and his new allies."

Silence met his statement, and the members of the Order of the Phoenix remembered exactly who he was, what he had done in the past, and why he was elected the leader of their group.

Understandably, the mood mellowed out and became quiet – most of them unable to admit to themselves that they felt like first year students again under the headmasters gaze.

"Now," he began, "a delegation of shinobi from Konoha will be arriving very soon. In fact, they will be here in precisely three, two, one…"

oOoOoOo

Tsunade groaned, as she felt them get closer to their destination. It felt just like when she'd had a few extra sake last Thursday. Kami, she'd woken with a raging headache after that…

The world spun, and she felt herself land – quickly, using reflexes born from years of being an active shinobi, she tensed her limbs and sent chakra spreading through her legs and securely moulding her feet firmly to the floor. She didn't fall over, and 'landed' with a straight posture, standing as if nothing had happened. They all were. It made for an imposing sight.

Quickly, she glanced around, making sure all her shinobi had arrived safely, and they were in the correct place. After spotting the largest white beard she had ever seen, she knew they had arrived.

"Dumbledore-san," She nodded, bowing her head respectfully. The old man bent his waist, giving her a surprisingly respectful bow. He waited until she sat at the opposite head of the table – they would be on equal positions, how fitting – and only seated himself once she was comfortable.

There were empty seats to her left and right, enough for all her shinobi to sit down. With an inwards grin, she noticed that none of them gave any indication that they wanted to, taking places around her, in a protective yet offensive formation. She glanced at Kakashi – kami, he was tensed like a rabbit, ready to spring. He may have been the most tightly wound person there, but by no means the only one tense. The wizards, other than Albus and Minerva, all displayed different degrees of nervousness.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with us, Hokage-sama."

"It's fine, Albus-san. I must say, you quite intrigued me earlier, I can see why you would need my help-"

"You're help? Why would we need a _shinobi's,_" Moody spat the word out, "_'help'?_"

Everyone froze. Dumbledore sighed, looking at Moody disapprovingly.

"I apologise deeply, Hokage-sama. Alastor fought a lot of shinobi in the last war, and lost his leg to a particularly dangerous Iwa-nin."

Tsunade frowned, but nodded, discreetly signalling her shinobi to put their weapons away. "That is understood. A lot of people – particularly wizards – look down on the way of Shinobi. That in itself is understandable, after all the trouble you've had in the last war."

"Thank you, very much. Despite hostility, your help is greatly appreciated, as I fear the circumstances may be the same as the last time we worked together, however indirectly."

She shook her head. "I'm afraid you are mistaken, Albus. The Dark Lord has not hired the help of Iwa, like last time. He has hired many Nuke-nin, for none other would accept a contract with him, this time around."

Nymphadora Tonks frowned, looking between the two. "Professor, I'm afraid I don't understand. What are you talking about?"

Albus, despite the interruption, smiled at her. "Ah, I forgot you are too young to remember all the allies Voldemort once had."

This only increased her confusion. "What? But I know all about the Death Eaters, no matter how young I am. Everyone talks about them."

"Ah, that may be the case, but no one likes to talk about the shinobi."

"Why not?"

All the wizards seemed to pause, as one. "The shinobi that worked with him were far more dangerous than the Death Eaters, mainly because no wizard knew how to properly defend and fight against them. More good wizards and witches died as a result, so the survivors of the last war with Voldemort do not talk about them, the same way they still do not mention his name. They are afraid."

Tonks, slightly horrified, turned her head to look at the gathering of shinobi. They didn't _look _as scary as Death Eaters…

"… What happened?"

The blonde woman sighed, looking down. "The Dark Lord, despite not living in the Shinobi continents, knew how to get there, and how to make a contract. When he arrived, he came across two warring villages – Konohagakure, and Iwagakure. Seeing an opening, he approached the Tsuchikage and offered him a deal – if the Iwa-nin aided him in destroying his enemies, then he would let the Tsuchikage use his Death Eaters, likewise."

Tonks gasped. "Wait – then, that means…"

Tsunade smiled, grimly. "Yes, my Shinobi have fought Death Eaters before." She glanced at Dumbledore, a smirk on her face. "And of course, you know the saying… The enemy of my enemy is my ally, which is why I am willing to send my Shinobi to once again fight Death Eater scum, and more importantly, kill any of the Shinobi he hires."

Remus Lupin frowned, the details not adding up in his mind. "Forgive me for asking – but are we going to fight your enemies, once this is over?"

The Godaime shook her head. "No, at present, Konoha is not at war. In fact, we just finished fighting one. If you had approached us little over two months ago, I would have had to decline Albus-san's offer of an alliance. The number of Shinobi is low, so I won't be able to lend you many, but I will lend you the best of the best, when they are available. These," she nodded to the people around her, "are the best that I could pull away from regular duties, who weren't on any missions today.

"This is the captain of the ANBU – Special Assassination Tactical Force," A brown haired man in the most frightening bone white armour gave a sharp, curt nod.

"Morino Ibiki, head of the interrogation and torture squad," a heavily scarred man grinned wickedly.

"Hyuuga Neji, a young prodigy, with the best skill out of his entire clan," A young, fair skinned and pale-eyed teenager glanced in their direction, nodding slightly.

"Yuuhi Kurenai, an Genjutsu specialist," a dark haired woman with crimson eyes smiled and nodded.

"Yamanaka Inoichi, whose mind control techniques are below to no one," a tall, broad-shouldered blonde grinned.

"Haruno Sakura, my apprentice," a _pink_ haired girl smiled sweetly.

"Nara Shikamaru, very good with his family techniques, and excellent at strategy," a spiky haired boy with a lazy slouch shrugged nonchalantly.

"Maito Gai, Konoha's taijutsu specialist," most cringed at the bright grin and green body suit.

"And finally, Hatake Kakashi, arguably the best of the best," A silver haired man showing only one, half lidded eye gave them an unnerving stare.

Dumbledore nodded to each, before turning back to the Hokage. "Ah, where is that white haired man I met with earlier – Jiraiya, I believe?"

She shook her head. "He's training with his student – he said there was something he couldn't put off any longer, that he had to show the boy. He means no disrespect, but also believes he wouldn't be useful in a diplomatic situation."

"Ah," he nodded, no longer wondering about the absence of the eccentric, although powerful man.

Severus Snape narrowed his eyes at each of shinobi, looking down at the assembled group with clear distaste showing in his obsidian eyes, behind a curtain of slick and oily black hair.

Snape gave a derisive snort. "And why, pray tell, have you brought a group of Shinobi, when you could just as easily tell us of their abilities, without the need for them here?"

Tsunade gave him a piercing glare, and the mentioned shinobi around her visibly tensed, attention focused on the greasy haired man that had spoken with such a sneer in his voice towards their leader.

"They are here, _wizard,_ because a lot of your kind are ignorant and arrogant, with a dangerous superiority and inferiority complex – don't ask me how that works. If I told you that one of my subordinates could control a person so completely without an imperius curse, would you believe me? If I told you a man could grow and control trees, and another could punch a hole through your chest, with a visible charge of lightning harnessed in his fist, would you find your belief slipping? That a sixteen-year-old girl could punch a hole through a mountain, and heal you from the most dangerous poisons? And that _not one_ of the people and abilities I mentioned, use magic? No, I don't think you would believe me – because, simply put, they're _just muggles,_ so they are inferior to you. You would need a live demonstration, wouldn't you?"

Severus was silent and scowling, refusing to stand down. He snarled out, "Well, go on then, show us what a _Shinobi _can do."

Albus saw the dangerous glint in the Hokage's eye. "No, don't-!"

In such a rapid speed that the human eye could barely register the movement, the buxom blonde's fist smashed down into the edge of the desk, the resulting force of the crash sending ripples through the hard wood, and the sheer power sending the huge table flipping over her head, connecting with the stone wall behind the Konoha Shinobi, exploding into a shower of splinters that fell harmlessly down onto the floor.

Like a looming titan with hundreds sharp, deadly looking slices of wood falling like a curtain behind her, she slowly turned her head to glare at the potions master who dared talk down to her with such and ungrateful, miserable, disrespectful tone.

Snape wet himself.

Dumbledore sighed, head bowed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ah… I told you not to act disrespectful, Severus. _Why_ do you always have to be so difficult…?"

With barely a whisper of cloth, something deathly cold and sharp was pressed against Snape's bare neck, a gloved hand tightly gripping his shoulder, uncaring (delighted) of the pain such a harsh grip caused.

"Apologize." A masculine voice growled out from behind him. Immediately, all the wizards in the room had frozen, still in their seats.

If there was still a table, Dumbledore felt he would have banged his head against it. Why oh _why_ did things have to degenerate so fast? He saw the rebellious frown on his potion teacher's face. Oh, great. He just had to keep digging, didn't he?

"Why should I? That woman is obviously _mad!_"

Deeper and deeper. Albus almost wondered if it would be simpler to let the Shinobi just kill the prejudiced man.

"Do not talk about us as if you know anything about us, Death Eater." The hand, no longer on his shoulder, grabbed his lank hair and yanked, almost snapping his neck when his head was swiftly brought down to stare upside-down into a dark, angry eye under a mess of white hair and above a black mask.

As the truth about his past servitude came to light, the other Shinobi looked ready to kill. Which they probably where.

"How do you-?!" Snape hissed out. His hair was yanked again, a sliver of skin sliced by the sharp blade still pressed dangerously close to his throbbing artery.

"I could _smell_ your stinking Dark Mark from across the room, Wizard."

The headmaster audibly sighed, standing up to gain Kakashi's attention. "That is enough. I believe Severus has sufficiently learnt his lesson."

"Yeah," growled Morino Ibiki, "It's not fucking wise to piss us off."

Tsunade nodded her head. "Let him go, Kakashi, but keep an eye on him. I don't trust a Death Eater, former or otherwise."

Obviously reluctant, Kakashi let go and casually strolled back to his position next to the Hokage, faintly looking like a smug feline that had just caught a juicy fat rat.

Snape, fuming to the brim, turned his anger onto the person who, unable to control himself any longer, let out a bark-like laugh.

"Shut up, you stupid mutt!"

A dark haired, gaunt man grinned wickedly, still sniggering. "Hehe… Just, oh man, the look on your face! Utterly priceless. Hehe... Man, if I knew Shinobi could be this fun, I would have invited one over years ago… ha-ha…"

Snape sneered, trying to regain control. "Only a stupid fool like you would call this entertaining-"

"Actually," interrupted Ibiki, "I also found it highly entertaining. And informative, too – Kakashi, I _knew_ you'd been snooping around my interrogation files! That was just like what I did to that mist-nin last month. Of course, I wasn't interrupted…"

Kakashi shrugged. "Eh, I got bored, and the blow-by-blow accounts of your past work was a pretty interesting read. Did you write those?"

"Of course. It's good to catalogue what works well against certain types of people."

"Ah. I found your descriptive skills very impressive. You could easily write one of the best horror books if you tried, you know."

Tsunade, whilst being highly amused, decided enough was enough. "All right, you two, settle down. It's time we got back to business." She turned to the headmaster, "what is it you propose, Albus? We have no enemies for you to help us fight, and what you hinted at earlier was not just a contract mission, but at least a temporary alliance. What do you have to give us in return, other than the standard pay?"

Dumbledore didn't even pause. "Extra pay for your willing and generous services, and any of your magically skilled Shinobi will have free education here at Hogwarts, and those of my subordinates who have special skills will aid you, whenever necessary, even after the war with Lord Voldemort is over." He raised an expectant eyebrow at the wizards, and whilst they weren't quite sure of the shinobi, they new an order when they saw one, and by what the headmaster was offering in return for simple aid and service, they could tell that these Shinobi were better than they remembered, and/or Albus was pretty desperate to get on their good side. Unfortunately, there weren't that many of them that could offer things outside of the norm. Thankfully, there were at least a few.

Tonks went first. "I am a metamorphmagus. I can test your citizens to see if they have potential, and train them."

Sirius and Remus looked at each other, then smiled wanly. Remus spoke, "I and Sirius Black will teach anyone you choose how to be an Animagus."

Madam Pomphrey, who had attended the meeting on request of Dumbledore (under the resigned assumption that someone would be bound to get hurt) smiled kindly. "I am an expert healer, and – not that I'm disputing your own skills, Tsunade-san – but if there is any illness that cannot be cured by your healers, I will give it my best shot, and even repair or re-grow broken bones and organs. Anything else, we can sort out when necessary."

Tsunade grinned back. Damn, the deal she was getting out of this was so worth it

No one else spoke up. Albus rolled his eyes. "Stop acting like a petulant child, Severus, and offer your services."

Grudgingly, the snarky professor did indeed offer what he could. "I will create any potions you are in need of, within reason."

Tsunade looked at Dumbledore, to see if that was the end.

Albus, almost hesitant, began to speak once more. "Although I am incredibly grateful of what help you will be giving, I was wondering if there was one more thing you could do…"

Tsunade hazarded a guess at what it might be. "I'm afraid I can't promise anything other than what we've already agreed on."

"Well… I wonder if it would be possible that you could find a boy…"

Yep, her intuition had been correct. She had been wondering when he would bring it up. "A boy, huh?"

"Yes, by the name of Harry Potter. He would have turned sixteen a few weeks ago, has black hair, green eyes, and a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Do you know of anyone by that description?"

By now, all the wizards seemed to be holding their breaths, anxious, nervous, and in the case of a certain dog Animagi, rather exited, too.

Now, how much to tell them? She could see Kakashi in the corner of her vision, stiff as a board. Ultimately, it would be his decision.

"Well," she began, drawing out the vowel, "I can't say I know anyone by the name of Harry Potter…"

Here she paused, perhaps a bit longer than necessary.

"However, I _do_ know of a Konoha resident, with a lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead."

With wide eyes, Sirius Black almost jumped out of his seat. "You – you do?! Please, _please_ tell me he's all right!"

Tsunade cocked her head, intrigued. "Oh? Did you know him?"

Sirius grinned. "Yeah, I sure did. I'm his godfather."

If she weren't looking for it, she wouldn't have noticed the hitch in Kakashi's breath or the slight sway as that fact hit him head on. Damn, this was getting complicated. The poor bloke didn't know it, but he was only a few years older than his godson.

"He's well, but I'm afraid he's a very independent person, and has been living by himself for a few years now, and I don't think he'd react well to a parental figure, or indeed being uprooted from his home."

Sirius seemed to almost shrink in on himself, as a little flame of hope he'd kept burning inside of him for fifteen years burned out in the blink of an eye.

"Oh… Then, I guess he wouldn't want to live with me, huh?"

She nodded, solemn and understanding to the man's plight. "Yes. Although, I'm sure he would like to meet you. I can arrange a meeting at a later date, if you want."

She also didn't miss the sharp look Kakashi sent her just then. It spoke in volumes to her.

_WTF do you think you're doing?!_ Tinged with a hint of shock, confusion and enough nervous tension to… Well, she didn't really want to think about what would happen right now if something set him off.

Sirius Black, however, brightened instantly. "Yeah… Yeah! I would – I mean, I'd really appreciate it, Hokage-sama-" Remus nudged him sharply in the ribs, "- EhKk- ah, well, if he wants to, you know…"

Tsunade nodded, liking the man already. He seemed to honestly care about Ha- Kakashi. "That's fine." With a more professional air, she turned, once again, back to Albus. "I'm afraid it's getting late, and the demonstrations we've talked about would do better outside in daylight, after my Shinobi have refreshed themselves."

"Ah!" Dumbledore had looked up at the ceiling, and had noticed that it was indeed rather late into the night. "Yes, yes, of course. Minerva, would you mind showing the Shinobi to their rooms…?"

A strict looking woman with her hair in a tight bun nodded and stood up, bidding the visitors to follow her. Soon, they were all lead through several winding corridors and up a few flights of stairs. Eventually, the Scottish woman stopped in front of a large, door sized portrayed of a curt looking wizard dressed in an impressive robe of magenta and royal blue, a hippogriff feather sticking loosely from his hat, and a rather bored expression on his plain face.

"Password?" He drawled, looking unimpressed at the gathering, although slightly curious.

"Ah, yes," Minerva McGonagall said, the inflections in her tone affirming Tsunade's suspicions of her origins, "This is a password protected room, where you will be staying. Through the portrait is a lounge, with enough bedrooms for one each. The password is 'Toblerone', and someone will come by tomorrow morning to show you to breakfast." She paused, then smiled sincerely. "Thank you, for agreeing to help us with the war." She turned towards Tsunade and bowed – a little stiffly – before leaving the group, and was soon out of sight.

Quickly, they entered the room – Ibiki first, the paranoid man he was, and with a nod from Tsunade and the help from Inoichi, began checking the room for traps and removing any portraits from the room. Once the room was thoroughly sweeped – Kakashi adding his bit and checking for magical bugs and spells – they sat down on the large, comfortable sofas.

It was only then that the boy-who-lived let himself show his emotions, dropping his head into his hands and groaning.

"Well, shit."

**A/N:** Ohmigosh. This took ages, I know. But I explained why in the previous chapter.

I bet this is nothing like what any of you guys where expecting, eh? At first, I was thinking of making Dumbledore a manipulative old bastard that just wants to control Harry as a weapon, but I found it was much more fun to write him as a hard-ass old man that shows exactly the sort of person that has defeated a Dark Lord.

Okay, I know that a LOT of people will probably be feeling confused. I can see it now: _WTF?! SASUKE?! What happened to Orochi-bastard?! And the Akatsuki? And Sound?_

Patience, my pretties. I am being purposefully vague (to delude myself into feeling there is a semblance of good plot) and all will be explained. Eventually. If there is anything you don't understand and won't be a spoiler for the rest of the story, I will try to explain it to the best of my ability.

Several sections where surprisingly hard to write, but I slugged it through anyway, and soon I managed to get a good flow going, and wrote over 2000 words in one night. Go me!

Look forward to more Kakashi, and shinobi-wizard interaction. There are cards still to be put on the table, never mind in play, and being a Death Eater has suddenly become extremely hazardous to ones health. What's this? Kakashi has more secrets? And team seven comes into the scene (eventually)!


	4. Chapter 4

Yamato, Ibiki, Neji, Kurenai, Inoichi, Sakura, Shikamaru, Gai, Kakashi, Tsunade

**A/N: **(About time!) Yes, I know, it seems like it's been forever since I last updated this story. A fair few months since I first started writing this chapter, in fact. I _do_ have reasons: exams, for one thing. GCSE's, mocks, applying for college, looking after a puppy, having a life outside of fanfiction… These are all valid, truthful points. But, to be honest, I haven't really felt like writing. Now, I'm not about to force myself to write, to turn something I love doing into feeling like a chore. And if I had forced myself to churn it out, it would probably be lacklustre and not feel up to scratch. And perhaps the long absence has been a good thing; I've come up with a lot of ideas for this story.

I'd appreciate criticism. In fact, I'd love it. Preferably if it would be constructive. Heck, I'd love to hear if any of you have spotted a plot-hole or a way to make it more believable – I'm only fifteen, after all, I doubt that at this point I can spot everything. But I can darn well try, and I'd love some help (especially since a lot of you are older than I am, with a greater experience when it comes to such literate matters).

This chapter is, I suppose, mainly setting everything up for all the interesting things to come.

**The Unlikely**

**Chapter Four**

_Three and a half years ago…_

_Kakashi added the final finishing touches to the strange array of seals winding their way from his student's shoulder. Stepping back, his hands clasped together and he let a sliver of chakra seep its way into the ink, causing it to start, crawling its way off the floor and up the boys' skin until it was all tightly wound up and compressed, still pulsing with power._

_Kakashi stepped back as Sasuke finally slumped, unconscious, and wiped his brow, exhausted. "That'll have to do, for now…" He murmured, wondering when his role as a teacher had gotten so complicated._

_As he prepared to take Sasuke to his house, as he was definitely no longer fit to watch the rest of the preliminary round, a dark and slick aura permeated the air, the familiarity raising the strands of hair on the back of his head as he whipped around, stance tensed and ready for battle._

_Before him, Orochimaru himself slipped out of the shadows, a slow smirk complimenting his serpentine features. Silence reigned for a few moments, before the traitor's smirk widened fractionally. "Well, well, Kakashi-kun, it certainly has been a long time…"_

_Kakashi's eye narrowed, face darkening. He scowled. "I'm no longer that little boy." He crouched before his student, electricity crackling around his fingers. "I won't let you take him."_

_Orochimaru let out a low hum, tipping his head to the side, as if observing the scene with faint amusement. "Oh? Trying to protect him, as Minato once protected you?" He chuckled, deep and foreboding. "Sasuke will be mine. He won't be able to help it, and you won't be able to stop it, not this time."_

_Kakashi tilted forward, as if on the verge of attacking. Cold sweat trickled down his neck, smothered by a faltering determination._

"_Oh? What are you going to do, Kakashi-kun? Attack me?" Orochimaru laughed. "Oh, go on. Use some of that delicious power of yours. Attack me. Hurt me. Make me writhe in pain." He leered, closer before than he had been mere seconds ago. "Do you dare to, hhmmmnn?" He let out another languid chuckle, casting Sasuke another lusty glance. "I'll be seeing you both soon, I suppose. Don't try anything stupid in the meantime." Orochimaru cast a dark gaze at Kakashi. "We wouldn't want anything… Unexpected to happen to you, hmmn?" He turned, disappearing back into the darkness._

_Kakashi powered down his chakra, letting the blue lightning dissipate, shaking his head. What on earth had he been thinking…? There was no way he could take on such a powerful opponent. He sighed, looking once more at Sasuke. So, Orochimaru really was involved, and more deeply than he had previously imagined. He glanced at the seals enclosing the cursed mark. Well now, with something like this at work, it seemed his student would need something a little more… special._

oOoOoOO

Inoichi, used to the lazy, logical and all-knowing leadership of his black-haired teammate, turned to the man's son out of habit.

"What do you think we should do?"

Shikamaru snorted, rolling his eyes. "Please. I may have known who Kakashi-san really is for almost two years, but that doesn't mean I know what's best in this situation. Honestly, it's ultimately Kakashi or Tsunade-sama's decision."

The silver haired nin in question looked up from his hands, eyebrows raised. "I'm right here, you know."

Shikamaru, instead of giving a reply, merely shrugged, and leant back into the plush sofa.

"Alright…" Began Inoichi, contemplating the youth before him, "What do you _think _we should do now?"

Tsunade sighed and hit the blonde over the head. "Baka. That's the same question!"

He frowned, squinting up at her. "Yeah, but we all know Shikamaru's smart. His petty excuse is just to get out of doing any work, the lazy bones!"

"Alright, alright," mumbled Shikamaru, "As troublesome as it is, _I_ think our first priority is after breakfast tomorrow. We need to decide exactly what we're going to show those wizards, to prove we can handle any Death Eater as well – if not better – than any of them."

The Godaime nodded. "That's what I was thinking, too. And, what are your thoughts on…?" She glanced at Kakashi.

"Hmmn… We definitely shouldn't reveal who he is, at any rate."

"What?" Interrupted Kurenai, "why not? Surely that would be for the best – we'd be more in their graces, and they'd listen to Kakashi."

"Nah, it would be far too troublesome. They'd be disbelieving of who he is, and a lot of them will probably be upset about how he is – you saw what they think of Shinobi, they won't be pleased if their hero is one of us. Besides, think of the emotional fest that would result from it all – and I got the feeling that Snape fellow doesn't particularly like Harry Potter, or the idea of him, and could possibly become more aggravating because of it. Plus, there's the Dark Lord to think about; it's all too likely that he'll want revenge, and revealing Kakashi's status is not in our best interests, as it would be far better to keep that information as a surprise for when Kakashi eventually has to fight him."

Kakashi sighed deeply, slumping back into the sofa. "I know, I know. I don't particularly want the possibility of any of them fawning over me, either."

"Yeah," Said Sakura, grinning, "You're a _real_ 'people person'. You'd make a great idol, I'm sure!"

Tsunade laughed, but stood up. "This is great, guys, but we should really get some sleep – you're going to be using a lot of chakra tomorrow, so we need the rest. We'll talk more about what we're going to do before breakfast." With that, she strode towards the bedrooms, and promptly chose the largest.

oOoOoOo

Breakfast. Most of the Order was there, nervously eating as the tension in the room rose between the two factions as time wore on. The Shinobi seemed calm and collected, acting as if the wizards weren't even there. In truth, they were all keeping a sharp eye out, wary of any deception. None of them had even taken a bite before Kakashi had subtly given them the go-ahead, saying there was nothing in this food that shouldn't be. You couldn't be too sure around wizards, not with their tricky potions that had who knows how many uses.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Isn't this nice," he commented with a smile at Minerva, seemingly oblivious to the situation. The deputy head's lips became a little less strained as she gave a light, whimsical shake of her head in response.

Kakashi almost expected Gai to burst out with a response like 'oh yes, the youthfulness in this room is so energetic! I can feel the springtime in all of us!'

Thankfully, the man didn't, preferring to keep quiet and let his Shinobi training keep him calm. After all, this was a possibly hostile, unknown environment. Although that didn't keep the frighteningly large toothy grin off his face, as he tried to silently challenge Kakashi to a contest for who could finish their plate of European food first. Probably in a wise decision, Kakashi pleaded ignorance and stoically refused to even glance at Gai, not wanting to give the other nin ideas.

Gai pouted, before going back to his food, dejectedly mouthing the words 'hip and cool' to himself. Sakura wanted to smile at the men's almost invisible display, but the wizards would probably see.

Unfortunately for all, it was Snape's slippery voice that started conversation. "So," he scowled, "Since you were so full of boasts the other day, why aren't you showing us your tricks yet?"

The Hokage looked at him with raised eyebrows. Dumbledore sighed, rolling his eyes to the heavens. Not _again…_

Tsunade snorted, rather unladylike. "What, you expect us to perform for you? Like trained animals?" At this, she laughed. "How naïve _are_ you wizards?"

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Well? Then what are you going to do?" He snapped.

Tsunade grinned. "To, ah, _properly_ see our skills, I'm afraid we'll have to get into a battle situation, of sorts. Just lead us to a fight that is worthy of our talents, and… Well, you can watch, I suppose."

Dumbledore frowned. "I'm not sure that's wise, Hokage-san…"

"Wise?" Tsunade barked, "Who ever said anything about wisdom? We're talking _war_, here. Either find us a battle simulation, or take us to a bunch of Death Eaters, or something."

This time, it was Minerva's turn to be apprehensive. "Isn't that dangerous? A lot of your shinobi probably won't have fought Death Eaters before-"

"Well, of course not!" Tsunade interrupted. "Hell, most of those who did are dead by now, if not of old age, then by battle." She suddenly smirked, "What, did you think that just because we haven't fought Death Eaters in over a decade, our newer shinobi won't have been taught to fight them? No, even if an enemy has been defeated, all of my ninja are taught how to fight any and all past or present enemies. You never know, in a world like ours."

At this, she smiled darkly. "And it turns out being paranoid worked to our advantage, eh? So stop worrying. My shinobi can handle themselves."

The deputy head nodded, now understanding. She eyed Tonks, and wondered if perhaps other people her age – who had taken the auror course long after the war had been over – should have been taught how to fight shinobi, too. She looked to her left, at Molly and Arthur, and also wondered if perhaps they shouldn't have been so naïve in thinking they would never have to fight one again, and at least kept up the training programme.

Dumbledore nodded, and wondered, as he often did, with thoughts of chamber pots drifting across his mind. "I think I might have just the place…"

oOoOoOo

A deep, steady breath, as Kakashi levelled behind the black-garbed man, oblivious to his presence. He flexed his legs, causing his position from the ceiling, upside down, to angle ever so slightly - lathering his lips with saliva – he spat, the long, sharp senbon gliding through the air and piercing the back of the masked man's neck, so quickly and smoothly that it slid into place without a sound, slicing several of the man's nerves, muscles and chakra pathways in such a way that made him drop.

Just after the man had swayed forward, and his feet starting to tip behind him – Kakashi was there, holding his shoulders and gently lowering him to the ground. Without missing a beat, a kunai had whipped out and sliced through the man's neck, and with a quick flick of the wrist, the Death Eater's robe had twisted around his neck, stemming the flow of blood and keeping it from spilling too far, soaking up in the material.

Kakashi stood, fluidly, casting an eye about for another enemy, and just as he caught movement out of the corner of his vision – light blinked on, and the dark mansion that he had previously been standing in was gone. In its place were the brick walls of Hogwarts, surrounding him as they were in the Room of Requirement.

He turned – having been facing the back wall – to see the disturbed, pinched looks on most of the Wizards faces. Most of them had gone white, others looked disgusted.

Kingsley cleared his throat for several seconds, eyes flickering from one shinobi to the next as he carefully considered his next words. "Well. That was… Interesting. When you agreed to give an example of stealth and assassination skills, I have to admit… I wasn't quite expecting anything like _that._"

Not that Kakashi was the only one who had gone through that task; Inoichi, Shikamaru and Kurenai had also done it, in order to display a wider variety of skills. Him, with his cloak and dagger routine – well, sort of. Nothing that involved any jutsu, really.

Inoichi had, of course, possessed one Death Eater and then calmly walked throughout the scene stabbing enemies in the back. Shikamaru had also used his bloodline limit, trapping over ten Death Eaters and finishing them off with hands of shadow. Kurenai had used genjutsu – confusing each enemy she came across to commit a near silent, Avada Kedavra suicide.

The Wizards didn't need to know that, because the Death Eaters that the Room had come up with were mostly stationary, they'd had an easier time of it than they normally would in an ordinary battle situation. Real people would have a stronger sense of will, so Kurenai would have had a harder time, Shikamaru wouldn't have been able to solely concentrate on the ones he'd captured, and Inoichi wouldn't have been able to leave his body unprotected. Even so, they had managed to give the impression they desired.

They were deadly. Dangerously so.

Snape frowned, still unsatisfied. And why not? He was a Death Eater, or had been, and knew what they were capable of. Sure, these Shinobi seemed capable at fighting them in the dark and with surprise on their side, but that wouldn't be the only way they would have to fight. He voiced his concerns, in a decidedly less polite way.

"You can stab Death Eaters in the back in the dark. So what? How will _that_ help you, when you're face to face with one? And they know you're coming? And you're outnumbered?" He snorted. "You'll have to do better than that."

In answer, Sakura stepped forward – and as soon as she did so, the ground around her seemed to stretch, leaving her in an open arena of sorts, alone. Five Death Eaters materialized before her, and without missing a beat brandished their wands and flung spell after spell at her.

Now, she wasn't the fasted Shinobi, she'd admit. But she'd learnt her lessons, and the fight with Sasori had happened a year ago, long enough ago for her to have trained what the old lady and shown her.

Her arms dropped by her sides limply, her legs relaxing as she slumped. The spells came at her, fast – chakra sped through her system like wildfire, with a sudden force – and she was gone, the first of the spells hitting the ground she had previously been standing on.

The wizards looked on, with wide eyes, as she dodged each and every spell aimed at her. Really, compared to bloodthirsty puppets, they were relatively slow. Not that she could have dodged those puppets on her own, even now, but this was nothing she couldn't handle.

She flew at them, in an arc as her feet propelled her over another barrage of spells, and landed on one of the Death Eaters with a sickening crackthud of a the body caving in on itself, bones snapping as they could not hold her chakra-laden weight. She immediately flung herself to the side to avoid yet more spells, and as she charged chakra into her hands, managed to punch one Death Eater so hard he broke his back, flying at another with such force it made the other Death Eater snap his neck. But it didn't stop there; one fist had gone right through the penultimate Death Eater. And as he choked up blood and slumped over her arm, she threw him at the last one, sending a Kunai with it to impale the jugular.

Sakura stepped back, letting out a long, low breath as she shook her hand slightly, the fake blood already disappearing with the bodies of the Death Eaters.

She glanced at the others, and saw she had done the right thing stepping forward, as it had hit the Wizards psychologically as well. Previously, the only 'child' they had seen fight was Shikamaru – but he looked older, and even though only sixteen had a strong face that could pass for over eighteen. She, on the other hand, actually looked her age, if not a little bit younger; her pink hair made for an innocent look. For the wizards to see what they thought was just a child, smash through five Death Eaters in such a bloody, unremorseful way surprised them, and perhaps even sickened them. Of course, it lent them a whole new level of respect and fear towards Shinobi; if a little girl could do all that, what could the fully trained, adult shinobi actually do?

Never mind that she was apprenticed to the Hokage, and her training had been more intense than most, and because of her team situation had been in more life threatening fights than others her age – and some even older. The wizards didn't know that, assuming that all children were taught at an equal level based on their age, as wizarding children were at Hogwarts, or even Durmstrang and Beuxbatons.

Of course, the world of Shinobi was built on deception, so they weren't about to go and correct them. Heck, if they really wanted to shake the Wizards up, they'd bring in ten-year-old Hyuga Hanabi, who, by wizarding standards, wasn't old enough to even begin training, yet because of her status in her clan and the favourite to become the next clan head, was already quite skilled.

Sakura doubted that the wizard's would ever truly let go of any prejudice they held towards shinobi, but at least now they could be treated with respect (or fear – either one, it didn't really matter). After all, it was dangerous to forget how deadly a shinobi could be. She supposed that, if they hadn't come along, all of these wizards would have been completely unprepared to face the threat of all the rogue ninja under Voldemort's command. This, at least, would give them a slight kick up the behind and shove them in gear, perhaps even grab their shoulders, shake them, and shout 'look! Look at all this! This is what you're really up against! Get your head out of your own arses! Wizards aren't the most powerful people on the planet!'

Well, maybe not worded like that. But something along those lines would be good.

Sakura looked up as she saw the old, bearded wizard ask Tsunade-shishou to his office to talk about plans, scheduling and the like. Sakura, despite not being asked, cut a clear path through the crowd and followed on her master's heals, Shizune already there. She was the Hokage's apprentice, little things like security and age weren't going to stop her from staying with her teacher and learning what she could. A learning experience, she could call this meeting.

As she set off through the winding hallways, she caught a glimpse of Kakashi, slinking into the shadows, and wondered about him and her boys, and if they were all right, and not _too_ bored. She shuddered then, getting a strange, foreboding feeling, and hoped they hadn't caused any trouble. She'd bash their heads in when she got back, if they so much as traumatized yet _another_ new class of genin.

Sakura almost faulted, then, when she realized that the only one really supervising her team was Jiraiya. Oh dear _kami_, Konoha was going to be in ruins…

oOoOoOo

"Ah, shit. Sakura's gonna _kill_ us."

"Not if you don't say anything, dobe."

"What, want me to blindfold her, too? C'mon, _genius._ Tell us how we can cover this mess up, smartass."

Before Naruto and Sasuke stood a large expanse of forest, just around the back of Konoha, near the area where they had once fought Gaara, a few years ago.

Or at least, they _should_ have been stood in front of a large expanse of forest.

Instead, well… "Ah, shit. Tsunade's gonna _kill_ me." Jiraiya cursed, sliding a palm down his face. He turned to his student and Sasuke with an incredulous stare. "How, exactly, did you two manage to create a – well, a _crater_? What in Kami's name have you boys been up to?"

Before Sasuke could answer, Naruto exploded with energy. "Aw, man, you should have _seen _it! This new jutsu is so damn awesome!" He started bobbing up and down on the souls of his feet, a manic grin on his face. Sasuke, despite trying to remain aloof, looked quite excited, too. One could definitely see a larger than normal smirk on his face.

Jiraiya looked from the crater to the boys once more, then shook his head. "Do I even want to know? Safety in ignorance, and all that. Maybe it'd be better if I can truthfully deny anything."

"But, well…" Naruto's face fell. "I – we – were kinda hoping you could help us, ah, refine it…"

"Oh? Why would you need _my_ help?"

"It's kinda maybe a _slight_ modification to the weird jutsu stuff you showed me the other month-"

"_Which _weird jutsu stuff…?" Although Jiraiya was afraid to ask.

"Uh, the, ah, Kyuubi stuff…" Both Naruto and Sasuke quickly looked towards the ground and hunched in on themselves slightly. Jiraiya turned white.

"_WHAT!?"_

oOoOoOo

On the way to the office, the headmaster paused before Tonks, much to her surprise.

"What do you want, sir?"

"For you to join us in this meeting. I have a few things I need you to clarify…"

oOoOoOo

Kakashi decided, quite logically, that he would traipse through the school. To get better knowledge of the layout, yeah. Not because he was nosey. No. And, well… What if he came across a wizard? They'd probably try 'socializing' with him. Urgh. Well, better not run into any of them, because it _could_ potentially frighten them. And he honestly, really did not want to do anything like that. Besides, it's best if the wizards didn't realize that he was even there, right? Right.

… Which is how Kakashi's strange logic had brought him to walking through the corridors. Upside down, on the ceiling, observing everything below.

However, there _was_ something that caused him slight confusion. Other than the group going for another meeting in the headmaster's office, weren't all the wizards back at that room, conversing with the rest of the shinobi? (Or at least, trying to.) If so, why – _how_ – had that Black man slipped out, and come here? He wasn't even doing anything, just… Standing there, in front of what seemed to be a trophy case, a sad smile on his face.

Kakashi crept closer, cocked his head, and tried to read English upside-down.

_- Chaser – James Potter –_

And stopped, as Sirius lightly touched the part he had previously been trying to read. "Oh, James…" He whispered. Kakashi froze. Were they – was that – his _birth father?_

Sirius sighed again, taking his fingers away. "Don't worry, mate. We're… We're so _close_ to finding him. I'll – I'll look after Harry for you, and Lilly…"

Kakashi turned his head away, and swiftly walked away. He didn't want to intrude. And… Well, that opened up a whole mess of emotions that he really didn't need, not now.

Unconsciously, he rubbed his hitai-ate – over the spot where his lightning bolt scar was engraved…

… And decided to find out where that odd, enraged hissing was coming from. Normal walls didn't have voices inside them, did they?

oOoOoOo

Jiraiya cracked his knuckles, red with rage. "You – you – _idiots!_"

Sasuke and Naruto backed away, eyes widening.

"Ah – hey, hey don't –" Naruto started.

"_IDIOTS!_ How many times have I told you _not_ to mess with-"

"Wait! Let us explain!" Sasuke shouted, starting to fear for his life.

Jiraiya paused. "Alright. You've got five minutes."

Sasuke gulped. "Well, you see-"

"Four fifty-nine, four fifty-eight…"

oOoOoOo

"Yeah, sure I can figure out who I think might be a metamorphmagus," Tonks grinned, looking delighted. "In fact, I already have a few suspicions."

The headmaster's eyes sparkled. "Oh? And how might you have reached that conclusion?"

"Well," Tonks began, turning to Sakura, "What did you say your hair colour was?"

"Natural!" Sakura scowled, "Everyone in my family has it."

"Exactly! It's such an unusual hair colour, too. My theory is that any of your shinobi with strange hair colours are likely to have a metamorphmagus in their ancestry. For one thing, it's the easiest body part to change… And my guess is, it must have stuck, however many years ago, and passed down like that. Of course, they probably won't have full magical powers – nah, the magic's been too diluted, for that. But hair? Sure, I bet they can manage to morph that. If not the length and shape, then at least the colour."

Sakura's eyes widened. "Can you tell how much power someone with that ability might have?"

"Wanting to know what you can do, eh? Well, your hair is bright pink, right? That's pretty darn unusual. You can probably do whatever you want with it, with a bit of training."

A dango-wielding psycho crossed Sakura's mind. "What about purple hair?"

"Well, that's a bit more muted, really. A lot closer to, say, brown, or black. Whoever has that, can probably only change the colour."

oOoOoOo

Inoichi stared at Snape. Snape stared back.

"So, Death Eater –"

"_Ex_ Death Eater."

Inoichi sneered. "Sure. Look, I don't like your sort –"

"What, the non homicidal ones? What's it like assassinating small children, by the way?"

Inoichi bared his teeth. "You'd know, I'm sure."

"Oh, please, like-"

"Is this guy bothering you, Inoichi?"

Snape paused, looking up at the horrifically scarred man that was suddenly looming over the blond's shoulder. The man grinned, stretching his scars in a way that made him look inhuman.

Inoichi rolled his eyes. "I'm not some damsel in distress, Ibiki."

Ibiki smiled. (Which, really, was the most frightening thing he could do.) "Oh, I know. But you see, Snape," He penetrated the wizard with a hard gaze, "I'm a professional interrogator. I just don't trust people like you; they make me uncomfortable." He frowned, "and I don't like being uncomfortable."

Snape glared. "What, you want to interrogate me? Torture me until I spill my secrets?"

Ibiki smirked. He was a man of simple expressions. "Now, that's just making it sound harsh. I don't want to torture you, per-say (well, actually, I do) because for some reason, it's frowned upon around here. No, no, I'm going to get my information… A different way." At his, he gave Inoichi a questioning look.

The Yamanaka's eyebrows rose. "You want me to take a little walk-around through his head?"

"Well, you _have_ had experience with wizards."

At this, Snape snorted. "You want to try some twisted, ninja-like legillimency on me?" He sneered. "I am an occlumense, fool. My mind is far too guarded to allow anything like _that."_

Unfortunately, those words were not the right ones for Severus. Inoichi, it seemed, had taken them as a sort of… _Challenge._ His hands clasped together, his fingers forming a well-practiced shape.

"Let's see what you've got then, Snape…"

oOoOoOo

Those in the office listened with rapt attention, as Albus described to them the plight Voldemort had been raging recently against their world.

"… And around ten years after his defeat at the hands of Harry Potter, Voldemort made his first attempt against the school, trying to steal a precious stone that would grant him immortality. Thankfully, he could not find a way past the last defence, and I was able to drive him away, weakened as he was.

A year later, an old object of his, holding a part of his soul, tried to possess a student and take her magic; using her to order around what we believe was a Basilisk – a rather frightful snake, that began attacking the students. Thankfully, the girl realized the object was dangerous, and threw it down one of the school's toilets, and Argus Filch – the caretaker – found it clogging a pipe, and brought it to me. It is most fortunate that he is only a squib, with little magic, so the spirit could not take enough to sustain itself. He also had a superiority complex, so would have found it distasteful to take a squib as a host. Unfortunately, we never managed to find the beast that the spirit had set loose against the school. It is my belief that it is locked away somewhere, unable to get out without its master's help.

Alas, the worst and latest attack came just over a year ago, where, having probably been driven to desperation to regain a corporal form, decided to take a student close to the age of his would-be-nemesis Harry, and infiltrated a tournament to rob the student of his life in exchange for a body."

Albus looked old and weary as he sighed, rubbing his chin. "He sent the body back to the school, as a – well, a warning, of what would happen to anyone who opposed him. It was… Dreadful, for the students to see such a thing.

He has made a few attacks since, but all have been rather low-key. No, he's been biding his time, trying to regain an army of Shinobi to launch an attack against the school, I expect. I am one of his greatest oppositions, and he most likely wants to get me 'out of the picture', so to say.

Which is why, Tsunade-sama, I have a proposition for you and your shinobi…"

oOoOo

Jiraiya paused, staring down at the two Chunin, a thoughtful look on his face. "That… Actually, that could work."

Naruto brightened. "Really? You mean you'll help us?"

Jiraiya sighed. "It seems I'll have to. Get even one thing wrong in this, and it'll blow you both up. Maybe roast you from the inside." He crouched down before Naruto, lifted the boys' shirt, and poked his navel. "All right then! Let's get started."

oOoOoOo

"Oh? Performing more Jutsu, are you?"

Inoichi paused in mid-seal, turning his head slightly to see that the headmaster had returned, and was looking curiously upon their little 'get-together'.

The scarred Jonin gave what could, theoretically, pass for a pleasant smile. "Dumbledore-san."

Albus nodded thoughtfully in return. "You're the head of the interrogation and torture squad?"

Ibiki didn't bother answering. They both knew the headmaster was correct.

He continued, "I'd appreciate it if you took my word with more trust, Ibiki-san. I will personally vouch for Severus. He is most certainly no longer a Death Eater."

"That may be so, but I don't trust anyone. Not even the Hokage. It's my job, you see. It would… ease my frame of mind, to personally find out how trustworthy your potion's master is."

Albus sighed, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Snape, it seemed, was balancing on the perilous edge of a long and dangerous road. And to be honest, he'd rather get all this over and done with, sooner rather than later. He gave his approval, before heading off to the heads of houses. They needed to be told part of the plan, after all; even if he wasn't entirely comfortable with it. On the other side of the room, he saw Tsunade talking with that boy – Neji, was it? – who had a rather surprised look on his face. Sakura had already left the room, following his directions. The ANBU captain seemed to be in a quiet, serious conversation with Shikamaru, and he wasn't entirely sure what Kurenai was doing. Albus could only hope that what they were doing was enough.

Behind him, Inoichi gave a menacing grin. "Alright, wizard. Let's see what your mind is made of…" - and completed the seals.

oOoOoOo

The dark voice was getting louder. Kakashi knew he was getting closer. He followed the wall closely, before arriving in what seemed to be… A bathroom?

It seemed rather run-down and abandoned. Obviously, it wasn't used often, if at all. He padded his way forward, careful to either avoid or walk over the puddles of water. He reached the centrepiece of the room, a large ceramic sink – and the voice stopped. He could still feel the presence of whatever it was lingering nearby, as if in… Anticipation? Weariness?

Something felt… Off, about the sink. He swiftly raised his hitai-ate to look through his Sharingan, and found a webb of complex and dark spells surrounding a section of it. He pulled the cloth back over his eye, and leant closer to examine the sink – to find a small engraving of a snake under one of the taps.

A snake. Of _course_ it would be a snake. He almost laughed, at the irony of it all, but instead hissed out _"Open,"_

He felt and heard the stones grinding together as the sink broke apart neatly, unveiling a hidden passage. And oh _kami_ it stank. Of blood and death and stale, rancid air. He took a deep breath, before plunging into the unknown.

When Kakashi reached the bottom of the slide – now covered in dirt and rodent remains – he realized that the unknown was, in fact, dark. And yet another secret passage. He sighed, before hauling himself up with exaggeration before making his way down the tunnel…

… And found that the large, double-gate at the end was open. Instantly, a feeling of alarm rose through his system. This ancient looking place was being used_. _Currently. As in, _right now._

He leapt suddenly, sending waves of chakra through his limbs to attach himself swiftly to the wall – and just in time, as a mass of scales sprang through the space he had previously been occupying.

The giant beast paused, and Kakashi got a good look at its side – a long, slick body, topped with dragon-like scales and sharp, monstrous fangs that dripped with black venom.

Kakashi was a shinobi. _Not_ stupid. So, he did the wise thing, when one was confronted with a monster in the bowls of a client's castle.

He fled.

oOoOoOo

In the depths of a forest where a village was hidden, a man with a serious face and long, dark hair wearily opened a letter that was delivered to him in the most peculiar manner. His pearly eyes glanced down at what was written in the Hokage's handwriting.

"_Hyuuga Hiashi-san,_

_I am writing to inform you that, as your family's duty as shinobi under my command, I ask you – no, I _order_ you to…"_

oOoOoOo

Just as Inoichi concentrated his chakra in preparation for what promised to be quite a difficult jutsu – he was interrupted once more as Kakashi rushed into the room, dripping grease and dirt and – were those small _bones?_

It startled everyone. A few hadn't even realised that the shinobi had left in the first place. Sakura, being quite an able and well-trained medic, quickly went towards her previous sensei to check for any injuries; he _did_ look pretty scruffy after two trips through a large and unused sewer pipe - not that she knew where he'd been. Kakashi shook his head, indicating that he was fine, before levelling the headmaster with a one-eyed stare, that Albus returned with an equal look of confusion.

The shinobi had only just got here. The Weasley twins hadn't already pranked him, had they? Should he be expecting to find the bodies of two red-heads out in the corridor? Oh dear. Kakashi-san didn't look like a very understanding man, or even a man with a sense of humour.

However, the headmaster still couldn't decide if the next words out of the shinobi's mouth were any worse than the other possibilities of where he'd been.

"Dumbledore-san, why are you keeping a large, rabid, poisonous snake in a castle full of school children?"

**A/N:** dun.. dun.. DUUUN!!

Well, that's it for now. I hope you've all enjoyed the little things I've been weaving into this story. Can any of you figure out what's going to happen from the clues I've given you?

ANYway… Sorry guys, but that's probably going to be the last update until late June, at the very _earliest._ I am, quite literally, in the middle of my GCSE exams. And if I study like I should (or at least planned to), then I won't have much time to write.

Good news: I'm very much in the mood to write this story. So I'll probably forgo studying at some point and write parts of the next chapter over the next few weeks, so the next update shouldn't take _too_ long. At least, not as long as this chapter took to finish.

Ta ta for now! - Swabloo


	5. Chapter 5

The Unlikely

**Disclaimer: **I own zip. Nada.

**A/N: **Hey there, peeps! My GCSE exams are all finished, hopefully all A's and B's; they _seemed_ to go quite well, so I'm not too worried. Although all the science exams were a joke: they were all multiple-choice questions! Not that I mind much, seeing as how Science is not one of my stronger points when it comes to exam-based study (I get A's in the coursework but B's and C's in the exams), but still. I don't know, it was just… Irritating, I guess. I pretty much always finished with twenty minutes to spare, and seeing as we got all our science exams spread out, each one was only forty minutes. Not that I'm welcoming long exams. I don't. I think they were some of the most painful hours of my life so far, and the two-hour Graphics exam just sucked the life out of me.

Okay, exam rant over. Now, I've got a sort of question for you guys (well, the ones who bother to read this author note, anyway.) I guess I'm just sort of worried about the amount of hits I've gotten for the last chapter. Not that it's bad, mind you, and the review count is frickin awesome compared to the amount of hits – you guys are just so amazingly awesome, by the way. I'm going to marry you all and carry your first born child. It's just… Well, there's a clear drop in the hits from chapter three to chapter four. Is my writing not up to par? Is my story lacking in some way? Did I do something bad or wrong? Or is it just because that chapter three has been out longer than four? Egh, I'm probably worried over nothing.

Without further adieu, I give thee the next chapter! Please enjoy, remain seated, and keep all arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times.

**The Unlikely**

**Chapter Five**

_The forest that they walked through was quiet. Far too quiet; at this time of night, trees bathed in the moonlit glow and the sky lightened up with a sprinkling of stars, all manners of animals should have been roaming – owls, snakes, rodents… and yet, no burrowing or twittering or even a rustle in the leaves echoed throughout the darkness. It was unnaturally still._

_Kakashi noted all of this, so quickly drew close to Rin. She only noticed his movement, glancing at him with a look of faint confusion marring her features._

"_What? What is it, Kakashi?"_

_The boy drew a pale finger to his lips, motioning for silence. "Something's not right."_

_And then, he heard it – a swish of cloth through the breeze – and leapt backwards; dragging Rin with him as a rush of Kunai impaled the soft ground they had been standing on mere milliseconds before._

_A low, deep, raspy chuckle filled the clearing. "Ku ku ku… Kakashi-kun, sharp as ever."_

_The pale, gaunt serpentine features of Orochimaru twisted out of the shadows, a manic leer on his features. He walked towards them, tilting his head back and observing the two of them._

_Kakashi bristled, shoulders hunching as he bent at the knees. "What do you want? Why are you attacking us?"_

_Rin looked between the two of them, frowning. "What…?"_

_Orochimaru laughed. It was not a pleasant sound. "Demanding, demanding, are you boy? What makes you think I'll tell you, and not do… This?"_

_And then, he was gone – a rush as the air blew around him – and suddenly, he was next to him close to him and – _

_Blood - where had that come from? It suddenly sprayed on Orochimaru's face –_

_And Kakashi looked down, wished he hadn't, because where the snake ninja had quickened to was where Rin had been – but now a sword was there and –_

_Rin gagged, coughing up a mouthful of oozing red. It dribbled down her lips and chin, the initial spray from her abdomen tainting the cloth around her. Her eyes slid to his, and they held a gaze for a moment – before her eyes rolled back and she let out a faint gasp of air as Orochimaru twisted the sword and drove it up-_

_Orochimaru gripped Kakashi's shoulder, and leant in, whispering into the boy's ear. "You can't stop me, Kakashi-kun. Not even if I do _this _– "_

_Kakashi fell to the ground from the force he had been hit with. And – oh, god – it was _Rin_ – lifeless and bloody bleeding limp – limbs twitching - shuddering - a horrible croak as her chest heaved a guttering moan and then she was just so _still –_ Her weight on his torso, and the blood was still _warm –

"_Minato can't save you from me anymore, Kakashi." He shook his head, "Such a pity that I have to go."_

_Orochimaru laughed again, even as the clearing filled with wild-faced ANBU and the Sandaime Hokage, smouldering with rage. Sarutobi's eyes widened as he took in the scene, then narrowed, full force of a killer intent directed at his former student._

"_You've gone too far, Orochimaru!" He spat out each word like poison._

_The man in question gave a low, self-satisfied hum. "Apparently not far enough, if you've caught up so quickly."_

_The Hokage snarled. "How could you?! You have defiled and tortured so many innocents – and now this final act of treason! You crossed the line a long time ago, Orochimaru." He drew his sword, and readied the cold, sharp blade before him. "I no longer see you as even a human being," he spat._

_Orochimaru quirked a brow at Kakashi, who was still in shock and trembling as he held the rapidly cooling body in his arms. "Call it a leaving present, Kakashi-Kun," And left, ANBU hot on his heels._

oOoOoOo

The headmaster, and everyone else, became deadly silent for a few moments; whether it was from shock or bewilderment, it was impossible to tell.

Albus thought about playing the Old Man card, he really did. That way, he could pretend he hadn't heard anything, and persuade himself that it wasn't happening. Unfortunately for his mental state, he was too smart for that, so instead looked rather grave. "Oh dear."

Remus snorted. "Oh dear, indeed." He frowned, "What did this… Giant snake look like?"

Kakashi floundered for a few moments. "Like a snake?" What _else_ would it look like?

The greying man sighed, exasperated. "Were there any special features to it? Did it have an odd colour?"

"Well… It was really, _really_ big. And it was covered in scales."

"Did you see anything - "

"Well, I sure am glad that Kakashi-san did _not_ see anything else," Interrupted Dumbledore. At the quizzical looks he received, he continued, "You see, I have known about this monster for a couple of years now; however, it was impossible to reach, being hidden in the fabled Chamber of Secrets, after all; the same monster that wreaked a bit of havoc a few years ago. And it is indeed a very good thing that shinobi-san did not get a better look, as looking into this monster's eyes means instant death."

Kingsley gasped. "You mean… A _Basilisk?"_ He had _not_ expected this kind of thing when he had signed up for Auror training.

Dumbledore continued explaining what this Basilisk was rumoured to be able to do. Kakashi paid attention with only half an ear, as he mulled through the knowledge he already knew of Basilisks. Well, it was certainly interesting that this snake had 'looks that could kill' quite literally. He then wondered if he could somehow get close enough to the snake to study its eyes, and see how it differed from other powers that manifested in that area. What if it weren't so different to the Yamanaka clan eyes? Or the Uchiha's? Or even the Hyuga? It was all about the combination of DNA. It seemed to be a very, very good thing that Orochimaru was no longer around, else he may have found out about this Basilisk, and tried to create a bloodline to mimic its powers –

"Kakashi?"

The shinobi in question looked up, snapped out of his thoughts as he saw all of the wizards and shinobi staring at him. "Hmmnn? Did you say something?" He saw Gai pout and mouth the words 'hip and cool'.

"Ah, yes. I – we were wondering if you could show us where you found the Basilisk.

Kakashi nodded. "Of course." He looked to Tsunade, who rolled her eyes.

"Only you, Kakashi…" She muttered. "Right!" She barked, "I suppose we're about to go meet a dangerous beastie. On your guard, shinobi." She paused, and then gave a glance to the wizards, as if in an after-thought. "Oh, you'll be coming too, right? Don't worry; my shinobi will guard you as best they can."

Moody bristled. "We are quite capable!"

At this, the Hokage let out a snort. "Yeah, sure. We've given you lot a demonstration of our capability, yet we have yet to see what you can do. I'll reserve my judgment, and play it safe, if it's all the same to you." She paused, then looked him straight in the eye. "The only wizards we've fought were blood thirsty and dark. They _wanted_ to kill, to inflict damage. And from what I've seen… You are good people. You might be able to fight an animal, but I'm not so sure on the human side of things."

Moody frowned, before starting forwards and after Kakashi, who had already started walking. His magical eye span around. "I can't see anything yet."

Kakashi thwapped Neji over the back of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

Kakashi sighed. "Whatever you do, _don't_ use the byakugan. If you catch a glimpse of this snake, even accidentally, it could kill you." The headmaster heard that, then looked thoughtfully at the walls. Could that boy _see_ through walls, like Alastor?

Neji frowned, but conceded, seeing the point. To be honest, he hadn't even thought of the possibility that the monster's magical ability would affect his bloodline, but he would take Kakashi's word for it. After all, he was the expert in all of this _magic_.

As they got closer to their destination, Kakashi decided to explain some things. "I was passing through here when I felt something off about the chakra around the bathroom area, so I took a closer look, and found a web of layers upon layers of spells. It seemed pretty suspicious, so –"

- And halted suddenly, form tense. Before him, where the sink, the only thing holding back the basilisk should have been… Was gone.

Well, gone was perhaps an understatement. It was still there; scattered around the bathroom as large chunks of porcelain and stone rubble. A pipe had burst, spraying water all over the floor, covering it in at least three feet of water; most of which was being drained down the large, gaping hole.

No. No, no, _nononono_ – it should still be closed! He remembered hissing at it to close as he flew by it – the sound of scales scraping against metal _closing in fast_ as he leapt out of the opening, only primal, instinctual thoughts whirling around his mind to _get out_ and _run before itgetsyou –_

_The sink hadn't closed in time!_

The realization hit him hard and fast. The giant snake had probably managed to wedge a part of itself out into the open air. Of course, it was just a simple structure – no match for a magical monster. And really, there was no way that sort of sized tunnel could withstand the basilisk's girth. The sink hadn't closed, so the spells supporting it hadn't been able to reconnect and form a full circuit that could withstand such a creature.

And now, thanks to Kakashi's thrice-damned paranoia and curiosity… The basilisk was loose within the school, with nothing to restrain it.

Kakashi slowly turned around to face the group that had followed him here, most of which were now looking in shock and confusion at the destruction inside the bathroom.

"We have a little problem…"

oOoOoOo

Blond, spiky hair whipped around his face as energy resonated from his form, blue eyes set in determination. Jiraiya, standing a few meters away, nodded.

"Alright, Sasuke. Get ready to mould it!"

The black-haired teen powered up his Sharingan in response, then held Naruto's wrist in a tight grip. He shifted, his stance balancing his frame against the ground. He nodded, looking towards his teammate.

Naruto let loose.

- And it exploded like _wildfire_, a raging red inferno. He clenched his jaw as he held his open palm forwards, fingers splayed, as the Kyuubi's demonic chakra burst out, tendrils lashing about. It grew in intensity, hot and dangerous as it was building burning braking _he couldn't control it –_

Crimson eyes flashed and the Uchiha faced down the beast, re-enforcing the seal as it slipped back into the vessel's control.

Naruto let out a breath of air as the chakra stopped flaying, feeling smooth and controlled under his shaking arm.

Before them, the image of a forest… Dissipated, the illusion broken. Both boys let out sighs of relief and slumped to the ground, energy spent. Together, they had tamed a demon's powers.

But it wasn't enough.

As he walked by, Jiraiya clapped a hand on each of their backs, then laid out another set of pre-made and charged magical runes. Once a drop of his blood had splattered over the parchment, the runes glowed white, and the illusion of a forest sprang up again, solid and unyielding.

"Alright, boys!" The man said, clapping his hands together, "Let's do that again. And this time, let's use a _little_ less chakra."

Naruto and Sasuke groaned in unison, before dragging themselves upright once more and got ready for another round.

oOoOoOo

The faces of everyone present whitened considerably. The words ' _holy fuckingSHIT that thing is LOOSE' _were pretty much echoed in everyone's thoughts. There was a slight pause, before Molly gasped, eyes wide and hands covering half of her face in horror.

"My babies! They're not safe! What if the monster finds them?! What if-"

"Relax," Tsuande said, "Inoichi, Ibiki; guard the children. They're in the Gryffindor house. Make sure no one leaves, and the area is secure."

The two shinobi nodded, before vanishing in two plumes of smoke. Molly calmed noticeably, her hands finding their way back to her sides.

"Alright, split up and search; about two wizards per shinobi. We need to find this basilisk fast, before it kills anyone."

Dumbledore nodded his assent. "Quite. And if any group finds the snake, I want the wizards to immediately send a patronus to the rest of us. Don't try to be a hero, and don't take any unnecessary risks."

They split up, rather randomly, and Kakashi found himself being followed by his godfather and friend. Sirius grinned at him and started walking at the same brisk pace.

After several minutes of hurried, near frantic walking, Sirius spoke up. "Just wanted to say how much I appreciate you putting that snarky bastard in his place, you know?"

Kakashi nodded, throat tight. He wasn't any good in social situations of any kind. What should he do? Should he say something, do something? A gesture of goodwill, maybe? Inwardly, he heaved a sigh. His… _godfather _(he still stumbled over the word, even in his own thoughts) would just have to join the very, very long list of people that he had disappointed. What Sirius wanted… He couldn't give, not really. Sirius wanted a boy, the son of his friend to look after and be a father to. Not a fully-grown deadly, lazy, porno-addicted assassin.

So Kakashi decided to be distant. Sirius looked a little miffed at being practically ignored, but before he could retort or say anything else Remus elbowed him lightly in the shoulder and shook his head. This wasn't the time to play inquisition.

And then, Kakashi heard it: a slight whispering, distant and mumbling. He paused in his steps, then leant against the wall and pressed an ear against it, causing the serpentine hiss to seem louder.

_Killbloodhotandtasty – closer – yessss –_

And Louder.

Closer…

_It was here. _He could smell it. So close, probably just around the corner. In a heartbeat, he had whipped out a shuriken and sent it spinning through the air, recoiling off the wall right in front of the wizards.

Sirius yelped, and jumped back, almost crashing into Remus, who scowled at the sudden intrusion of his personal space. Wide eyed, the gaunt man swivelled around and pinned the shinobi with a dark gaze.

"What was that for?!"

Kakashi drew a pale finger to his lips, motioning for silence, and whispered in reply. "The Basilisk is here. A few more steps and you would have seen it around the corner."

Black turned white, then inched away from the end of the corridor as quietly possible. "Oh shit."

Remus frowned. "How do you know that?" Despite his scepticism, he still walked away from the edge.

Kakashi tapped his nose. "I caught its scent earlier, and I recognise it now. My sense of smell is above par."

Remus nodded, then drew his wand and sent a silvery wolf bounding through the hallway, off to get reinforcements. Kakashi glanced at it, mind ticking as he came up with a sketchy plan. "Sirius," he began, and motioned the man to come closer, "Can you send one of those off to the end of the corridor to lure the basilisk closer?"

Sirius started, staring at him like he was crazy. It wouldn't be the first time anyone had done that, either. "What? Why would you want to do that?"

Kakashi sighed. Why couldn't they just listen? If they wasted any more time, the snake would be upon them. "If we draw it out, we can be prepared. Close our eyes and be the first to attack. Otherwise, if it jumps out at us, well… Who knows? Maybe one or all of us won't close our eyes in time, or it'll happen so fast and sudden that we won't be able to counter."

They stared at each other for a few moments, before the wizard nodded. He clenched his wand tightly and nodded. "Alright, tell me when you're ready."

Kakashi took in a deep breath, held out his right arm and _pushed._ Electric chakra crackled through his arm and he grabbed it in an iron grip to stop his arm from shaking off course. The energy built and hummed, chidori ready to go. He closed his eyes and sent a slither of chakra to his other senses, as well as a steady stream to his feet. He would have to be faster. Faster than fast – like _lightning._ He couldn't miss; one shot at this was all he was going to get, really.

Remus and Sirius backed off, giving him space. As soon as the beast came, it would be hurtling down the hallway and would crush anything in its wake. Sirius held his wand ahead, and began the incantation the moment the word _"go,"_ passed the shinobi's lips.

A large, hulking dog leapt out of the wand and sped forwards – around the corner –

- A strange, serpentine snarl resounded, and around the corner lunged a great maw of scythe-like fangs and slippery scales. Kakashi ran, with all the speed he could muster. The creature wasn't silent, he could easily pinpoint the monster's location, even with his eyes closed.

_Kill kill kill killkillkillKILLKILLKILL_

He felt the beast come closer, so he leapt – his magic expanding like the sonar vision of a bat, mapping out his surroundings in his mind, as he deftly avoided large fangs and plunged straight into the snake's snout, hitting a deadly strike up and through the roof of the mouth – it exploded in a mass of blood, grey matter and snakeskin, splattering over the walls – and in an instant, it was over, and the snake came down, now headless and bloodybleedinglimp.

Heaving, Kakashi stood; white hair matted with gore, mask thankfully stopping anything from entering his own mouth. He slumped slightly, arm trembling. He'd had to put in a lot more chakra than normal into that one, deadly strike; it had been a horrendous beast, its very essence full of dark magic. That kind of thing was hard to pierce, and needed either a very magical object, or just a lot of magic and chakra. Kakashi had put a lot of magic into that attack, too. The drain on his reserves and magical core was significant, and he could feel a deep lethargy set in, everything aching in protest to even the small flex of muscles used to make himself stand. His lungs laboured and his breath came short.

The two wizards gaped, taking in the scene before them. It wasn't a pretty sight to say the least, but at least their ally had come out of it the victor. And following the loud, wet explosion, several wizards and shinobi hurried into the area.

Dumbledore let out a sigh of relief, glad that _that_ particular security threat was finally over, and no one had died in the process. "Very well done, Ka-"

He was cut off, not by words, but a heavy, sick coughing. Kakashi no longer stood over the basilisk's remains, but had dropped to his knees, body trembling, eyes still shut as a burning pain filled his lungs and seeped in through his skin.

Remus cursed loudly. "He's just been through a load of basilisk venom, and he's breathing in the toxic fumes!" He whipped out his wand and levitated the shaking man out of the serpentine carcass. "We need to get him to the hospital wing!"

Gai, who had come upon the scene, set his jaw in determination. "I'll carry him with all the speed I can muster." After taking hold of his rival, he sped down the halls, only a blur to human eyes. Albus nodded to Minerva, and the two set off, leading the way to the infirmary. The headmaster sent a patronus with a message to all the others, stating that the problem had been dealt with and no one had died, but the shinobi 'Kakashi' was coming quite close.

In the rush to see how they could help, no one noticed the fluctuation of magic in the Great Hall as Fawkes the phoenix appeared in a burst of fire, passenger in tow.

Crystal-clear eyes narrowed as they observed the empty room. "Where _is_ everyone…?"

oOoOoOo

It was fragmented murky and _dark –_

_Hands pumped on his chest, blood oozing out of his many wounds. A frantic, hurried voice murmured from somewhere above him, 'what the hell did that bastard – '_

" – Basilisk?! Hurry, get him on the bed, someone get the –"

'_Get that damn wire out of him NOW! Shit, it's infected – '_

"- Potion, Severus! Just – " " – Mask?" " – The hell cares - !"

' – _Tear off that shirt, I need to get – ' ' – Syringe, get three injections of – ' ' – don't care how, Just DO IT-"_

" – spell's not working! – "

' – _Chakra's too slow – '_

tha-_thump tha-_thump thump_thump_thu_thu_thu_thu-_

" We're los_ing him - !'_

- thump thump thumpthump_thumpthumpthump –_

'_Fuck, his – '_

" – heart-rate's too fast! He – "

' – _Extreme tachycardia – '_

_THUMPTHUMPTHUMP _THUMPTHUMPTHUMP

A horrifying long pause, then – magic _exploded_ through his veins like _wildfire _– the poison in his blood sizzled and he _screamed –_

oOoOoOo

Madame Pomphrey checked in on her patient again, once more seeing that Tsunade still hadn't left his bedside, chin resting on clasped hands and haunted by pensive eyes. Something about the operation had brought back memories for the shinobi, and whilst it wasn't her place to find out or even question them, they certainly didn't seem to be good ones.

She sighed and walked over to the bedside, waving her wand and performing several status spells. It looked like the last of the poison had gone, but the poor man was still running a high fever! With that heat, it was just _ridiculous_ that the Hokage had insisted that Kakashi's mask be put back in place, immediately after he had been dosed with the last potion. Still, she also wasn't one to question strange traditions, and besides, none of the shinobi had thought it odd when they'd finally been let into the hospital room and the mask was there.

And that wasn't the only thing she'd been forbidden from removing. She frowned at the memory of Tsunade almost attacking her during the operation as she reached down to remove the man's headband – _honestly_, these shinobi must be clinically insane.

Speaking of shinobi… The matron turned her head to look at the Kage in question, a thoughtful look on her face. "If I may ask… What caused his violent reaction to the poison?"

The blonde jerked her head up, as if startled. The question registered, and her eyes dropped back to the sleeping Kakashi. She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose with two manicured fingers. "It's… Well, it's complicated. He's been poisoned before, when he was younger. Well, he's been poisoned since then, but none of those times have been as traumatic. And it wasn't very pretty then, either. Snakes and blood were involved, too, so I suppose the whole situation kind of bombed his subconscious. I don't doubt that once the poison kicked in his mind was trapped between the memory of then and now."

Madame Pomphrey's eyes widened, then furrowed as she gave a quick, curt glance at the bedridden man. "What? Is his mental stability that bad, that something like this would make it crumble?"

Tsunade grimaced. "He's had… A hard life. Harder than most, even in this profession. It's not the first time he's had a 'relapse', and I can't help but be glad that he's unable to move, this time."

The witch opened her mouth to ask her what happened last time to cause a relapse, then shook her head and thought better of it. No, she didn't really want to know more. Well, not about Kakashi… But for some reason, Severus had tickled her curiosity, and she walked back to her office wondering what had caused the potion's master to hurry from the room after his job was done with a brooding look on his face.

oOoOoOo

Severus Snape let out a droll, inarticulate sigh as he gulped down a shot of firewhiskey, his dark eyes staring into the amber liquid as if it held all the answers to his many, many questions. That shinobi… Kakashi, was it? He was… Well, a _shinobi_, right? And he was definitely over twenty years old, with a body as fit as that, although the grey hair looked like it could fit an old man. His age was a mystery, but his face… Merlin, it was like looking into a pensieve and at James Potter. There were, of course, differences; Severus highly doubted that he'd ever seen Potter's face in the throws of sweat and delirium, but the bone structure and pale shade of skin were practically the same. Although, he couldn't quite picture Potter with a crimson eye and jagged scar, but still – was it possible? Could they be related? Could Kakashi… And if so, _how -_?

His thoughts were interrupted by a series of sharp knocks against his door. Curious and suspicious as to who would be coming to see him, he tucked his wand into his sleeve before answering, immediately regretting his decision as he came face to face with the _charming_ visage of Ibiki. He tensed, ready for a confrontation.

Ibiki shook his head, looking him straight in the eyes. "Relax, Snape. I'm not here to attack you. I'm here…" He huffed, an annoyed looking flitting across his features. "I'm here to… _apologise_, for Inoichi's behaviour as of late."

The potions master raised one sardonic eyebrow. "Oh? And why would you be doing that?" After all, as he recalled, Ibiki had been encouraging the blond and enjoying it all a bit too much.

"Inoichi's bitter."

Well, that was certainly blunt. Snape managed to convey as much with his eyebrow alone, prompting the shinobi to continue.

"When he was younger, during the first war with Voldemort, he didn't exactly have many pleasant confrontations with wizards."

Snape rolled his eyes. "And that makes him predisposed to despise me, how…?"

Ibiki's face scrunched into a snarl. "Your bastard uncle killed his parents."

Understandably, that came as quite a shock, as Snape hadn't thought of the man since he was killed by shinobi twenty years ago.

"You bear an… Unfortunate resemblance to him."

"And how would Inoichi know what my uncle looked like under a mask? Did he witness his parent's murder?"

"No," replied Ibiki, before he gave a wicked grin, "But I always take photographs of my…_ work._ For documentation purposes, you understand. He was quite keen to see the face of your uncle after I'd finished with him."

Obviously, he expected some sort of rise out of Snape. However, the "Then I hope his death was not a short one," being said before the door rudely shut in his face was not quite what Ibiki expected.

He stood there, stunned for several seconds, before chuckling darkly to himself and making his way back to the other Shinobi.

oOoOoOo

It was quiet in the infirmary when Kakashi awoke, one eye squinting open. His body felt heavy with exhaustion, aching with a fever usually experienced after a bad cold, only bone-deep and nauseating.

He groaned, squeezing his eye shut and turning his head away from the splash of sunlight that had found its way on his face. When he turned, it was not to find one side of an empty room, but Tsunade, looking at him with concern.

The presence of someone next to him – _so close _– caused him to tense and his breathing to quicken, but the heavy, familiar weight of his mask settled down on his face, giving his subconscious the illusion of protection and comfort. He relaxed, but kept his eyes trained on the woman.

"You're in the hospital wing, Kakashi. Gai brought you here after you collapsed."

Well, he already knew that – had come across this place when he'd been wandering around the school, and was immediately glad that it was Tsunade telling him about it, and not someone like Ibiki, who would have laughed in his face about _fainting_ like a wuss. Well, maybe not in those exact words, but somewhere along that line. With a few good-humoured quips.

"Gai?" He managed to get his lips around that word, although coughed slightly as his throat retaliated against even that simple use.

"He was the one who could bring you here fastest, mainly because this is one of the areas he searched when looking for the Basilisk." She paused, then reached forward with one hand and tapped the metal of his hitai-ate.

"You're damn genjutsu wore of, Kakashi. Your scar is there for all to see, plain as day."

As panic wormed throughout him, Tsunade smiled and shook her head. "Relax, I managed to keep your hitai-ate on, so no-one saw it. Although, they're going to think we're terribly strange now, between that and your mask. Before you ask, nobody other than me, the matron and that Snape fellow saw your face, as Madam Pomphrey kicked everyone else out before they even managed to pass the threshold."

Kakashi nodded, showing his understanding, then massaged his throat with a grimace on his face, looking at Tsunade as he did so. The woman frowned back.

"Sorry, you'll have to be stuck with a bad throat until it either gets better on it's own, or your chakra dies down. It's pretty much gone ballistic in your body, and I doubt that it would react well to foreign chakra."

He huffed, rolling his eyes. Figures. He felt annoyed at having to be ill in Hogwarts of all places, but quickly got over his annoyance as he brought his arms out from under the covers and began explaining what had happened with the basilisk using ANBU sign language.

oOoOoOo

Morino arrived back at the Gryffindor dorms, where Inoichi still stood guard. He nodded at the man, before asking him if anything had happened while he'd been gone.

Inoichi rolled his eyes. "The kids have gotten louder, but that's pretty much it. D'you want to go in and tell them that the 'crisis' is over?"

Ibiki gave him a steady stare, before chuckling and waving Inoichi towards the entrance. "What, with this face? The munchkins will think that _I'm_ the monster all their parents have been fighting.

The Lady in the portrait huffed, reluctantly swinging the portrait open, allowing Inoichi to step inside. Immediately, hush fell onto the common room as all the red-heads looked at him simultaneously.

"No worries, kids. The monster's been dealt with, so it's safe to go outside if you want." The Basilisks entrails had already been cleaned up, although it had taken the rest of the day to do so. Not that being allowed outside again would be any use to these kids now anyway, seeing as it was far past curfew.

He turned when a voice from one of the staircases spoke out.

"Is… Is everyone okay?" It was timid, and his eyes fell upon what looked to be the youngest male child there. The ginger-haired boy looked tired and withdrawn.

"Yeah, no-one died." He waited for any more questions, but as none came, he left.

Ron looked down at the floor as he felt everyone's eyes go to him once the shinobi left, so he quickly followed the example, going back up the staircase to his dorm without saying a word to his brother's and sister.

oOoOoOo

Albus, in the midst of talking to Remus and Sirius, blinked in surprise as Fawkes arrived before him in a flash of fire. The phoenix crooned, perching on the old man's outstretched arm.

"Oh!" Comprehension dawned on the headmaster's face. "You've already finished the Hokage's errand? Well done, m'boy!" From the folds of his robe he withdrew a tasty-looking bird treat, which was quickly gobbled up.

The two animagi frowned and glanced at each other, mouthing the words 'what errand'?

Dumbledore straightened his sleeve as Fawkes left, saying is goodbyes to the other men as he left for the infirmary. He figured that Tsunade, being the Hokage and a top medic, would most likely be tending to Kakashi.

He walked into the ward to find Kakashi sat up in bed, back facing him as Tsunade seemed to be examining something on his face. As he cleared his throat, the white-haired shinobi immediately lowered his headband and spun around to face the wizard. Both looked at him expectantly, wondering why he'd interrupted.

Of course, he obliged their curiosity. "Our new guest has arrived; I believe she's actually been here for, ah, a few hours…"

Tsunade snorted. "You mean she's lost, wandering the corridors?"

"That's what Fawkes indicated."

"Wait, can't she-?"

Albus shook his head, a smile on his face. "Alas, I have yet to take off that spell from the castle; It's still impossible to see through the walls, magical means or… Otherwise. Couldn't take the chance that your Neji boy would reflexively use his bloodline limit to scan the area, could we?"

Kakashi laughed at that. "I'd hate to be the one sent to find her. She'll be really grumpy."

Tsunade paused, tapping her lips with an index finger. "Alright… How soon can you dismantle that spell?"

"I'm afraid it would take around an hour, despite how little time it took to set up. It's gotten quite comfortable where it is."

Tsunade sighed. "Send for Yamato; After Kakashi, he's the best tracker. He should be able to find her soon enough." And muttered something about stupid magical castles affecting spells more than they should.

**A/N: **Okay. Phew. The end of that chapter… I'm afraid to say, I wasn't quite sure how to end it, so I thought I'd better just stop there, and give you guys an update. And if you haven't checked my profile, then I should tell you that there most likely will not be another update for The Unlikely until mid-September, at the earliest. Yeah. Sorry 'bout that; the _Why's_ are on my bio, if you really want to know.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Me no ownsy.

**A/N:** All right, all right! I've finally finished working at it – and I present to you and extra juicy and gory and angst-filled chapter as a peace offering. Please… Don't kill me! If you do, then I won't be able to write anymore…

**The Unlikely**

**Chapter Six**

_Years ago…_

_Darkness engulfed him and he swallowed it, choking back a silent scream._

_His wrists felt raw and twisted, a tight, rough grip holding them in place. The rope burned against his skin, almost causing him to hiss as it heated up again, causing his wounds to cauterize and burn again and again._

_His whole body was slack, from weakness and an all-encompassing hunger. He hadn't eaten in days._

_He heard something – a metallic, spine-tingling scrape, and his shoulders tensed a little as he felt something thick and oily and wrong slither out from the shadows that surrounded him._

_A stilted, gravely laugh whispered in his ear, setting each hair on end and something slick and wet slipped up the shell of his ear._

"_Ka… Ka… Shi…" Rumbled Orochimaru all too familiar gloating voice._

_The traitor chucked again, humming to himself._

"_My, my… But you're so young, Kakashi dear. What was the old man thinking, sending you out here? Hmmm?"_

_Kakashi gave him no answer, lips pressed tight and grimacing._

"_Did he think that, being young, you would slip past my notice? Is that it, Kakashi?"_

_A sharp gasp tore through his throat as something pierced the soft flesh of his hand; the fine edge of cold metal idly traced the groves of his palm._

"_Come now, Kakashi… What was Sarutobi thinking? Tell me. What. Was. He. Thinking?"_

_The metal left it's position, but a sliding wet liquid still remained, trickling down his arm. Something grasped the back of his hair, nails scraping against his scalp as his head was harshly yanked back, neck jerking awkwardly._

_Hot breath played about his clammy skin. "What's he planning, hmm? Just tell me, Kakashi, and I'll stop… I'll make the darkness go away…"_

_It was tempting, the boy admitted to himself. The endless dark was constantly taunting him, grasping him between his nerves and under his skin. In the depth of the darkness, gruesome, bloody images had obscured his senses – his father, hunched over a glinting metal, blood sliding down pale, clenched fingers and dripping onto the floor._

_Dripping… Drip…_

_Drip…_

_The sound repeated itself, and a cold awareness reminding Kakashi with a jolt that it was his blood smearing the cell, not his father's – never again his father's, he was dead and gone – and so would he, he was sure, Orochimaru would definitely kill him this time…_

_Unless…_

_His lips parted with a dry snap, coated with sticky blood and dried saliva. "Orochimaru…" He croaked. A sudden, tense interest filled the air and he could feel Orochimaru pausing in place, fingers loosening against his hair, stopping in anticipation._

"_He… He thinks…"_

_A pause, as he drew in a dry gasp for air._

"_Y'should go… F'ck yourself…"_

_Something hard and fast flew against his face and he lurched against his bonds, already feeling his face bruising._

"_You'll pay for that, Hatake brat…" Murmured the traitor, and the last thing he heard before slipping back into the darkness was an echoing, cruel laughter._

* * *

Hanabi let out a slight shriek of annoyance as she punched her fist at a wall, immediately regretting her hasty action as her knuckles throbbed in protest. She huffed, leaning back against the stone.

Stupid wall. Stupid castle. Goddamn that _stupid_ _flaming chicken_ for landing her in an empty hall. _Why_ did she think she could find other people by leaving the room and wandering? Every time she called out, the sound seemed to stop dead. When she'd first arrived, she had felt an undercurrent of dread from the walls – and how was that even _possible?_ – But that feeling had gone away, and as she walked, Hanabi swore she could feel amusement in the air, which was only aggravating as she must have been out here for hours, wandering in circles! It was like the – like the castle was doing it… On… Purpose…

Oh, no. _Nooo_. It wouldn't dare, would it? This thrice-damned hunk of rock?

Hanabi felt herself develop a twitch as she spotted a moving portrait that she knew she'd seen before - honestly, moving portraits? This place was insane. A mad house. For serious, mind-bending nutters; and she'd be joining them soon, if she didn't find a way out in the next few minutes.

It was weighing down on her mind a lot, the fact that she couldn't rely on her bloodline limit. When she'd left that grand hall, she'd expected to be able to give a leisurely glance with the byakugan after walking for a few minutes, and to immediately see a fellow shinobi.

But the walls. Weren't. Working. She couldn't see through the damn things! Stupid, insane magic. Can't trust the stuff. Why the hell had she agreed to this lark? She was set to be the clan heir! She shouldn't be wasting her time in some foreign, decrepit old castle.

Where _was_ everyone -?

- And then, as if reading her thoughts, an ANBU appeared before her. She stiffened and jolted backwards – hitting the wall with her head, damn, she was still leaning against the stupid thing – scowling at the man.

_Where the hell have you been?!_ She wanted to say, but she wasn't foolish. It was an ANBU – the captain, if her guess held true. Definitely not wise to piss one of them off, no telling what could happen, or where you'd wake up the next day. She'd heard the rumours surrounding that Naruto boy, and the day he'd pranked all the ANBU's coffee. No, definitely not a wise idea. Hanabi wasn't as pompous or arrogant as people thought. She knew her place in the world, and wouldn't try to subvert her superiors.

The ANBU chuckled. "Sorry, Hyuga-san. It's been quite an eventful day, and no one noticed you arrive. We've all been busy, and have either not had the time to find you, or were unawares of your presence here.

She frowned, crinkling her nose. That sounded… Oddly scripted. Like they couldn't have just sent a bloody bunshin to find her? Yeah, yeah.

Hanabi sighed. "I don't care. I'm tired. I've got a mission. Where's my room?"

Ooh, demanding. Tenzou rolled his eyes beneath the mask. Hopefully, she'd learn to grow up a bit in the wizarding world. Maybe this strange, twisted place could do _someone_ some good, anyway. He knew that he, at least, didn't like the whole 'stone and mortar' scheme; it didn't quite fit with his fighting style. Nothing natural seemed to grow within these cold stone walls. And yes, by nothing natural, he also included the students; if Moody, Snape and Dumbledore were any indication of how the generations to come would turn out, anyhow.

Getting his mind back on track, seeing the moody pre-teen's scowl deepening and her eyes narrow, he quickly led the girl to her room, and told her that he'd come and get her when the Hokage was ready to see her.

As he leapt away down the corridor, hearing the door reprimand Hanabi on how to be polite –_"Saying please once in a while wouldn't hurt, you know; I swing long and hard all day to guard this room! A little gratitude is the least you could show," _– and her following sounds of frustration, Tenzou had to admit that he felt quite cheered up.

* * *

Severus remembered the day of The Dark Lord's rebirth; not because he had helped, or because he had been there. No, what made that day memorable was why he had been summoned, mere hours after the cold corpse of that Diggory boy had been sent back to the school.

The first thing he remembered was the chilling, painful spasm in his forearm before the feeling spread its icy cold fingers up his nerves, setting them tingling harshly in its wake. He had gasped for air then, as the summoning had taken its hold and he'd stumbled to the forbidden forest to dissaparate.

He'd landed on his knees – a practiced move that he hadn't needed in a long, long time, head bowed and arm still throbbing from the dark mark. Voldemort had loomed above him, a vicious look snarling his features.

"_Where is Potter?"_ it was low and ominous, almost a hiss.

Snape felt his thoughts turn dark. It was _always_ about that Potter, even though no one had seen neither hide nor hair of him since the night he was destroyed. That stupid 'Harry Potter' day reminded him hatefully every year, and that fool headmaster hadn't stopped chattering about how he was sure the boy was still alive and well.

"_No one knows, my Lord. He has been presumed dead since the day you went after him."_

Voldemort's serpentine features twisted once more. _"That _boy_ mocked me. He made himself known to me today, and for his disrespecting actions he will die."_

Understandably, this startled the potion's master. _"My Lord? He was here?"_

The Dark Lord sneered. _"Not here, you fool. In my mind – it was legilimancy of a different kind. I want you to keep an eye out – no doubt Albus will find some way of locating the boy. If you see him, inform me immediately."_

"_My Lord, what of the boys appearance? We know nothing other than the features he held as a child." _Snape could feel his heart pounding in his ears. His head span at the implications of what the Dark Lord had spoken of.

"_A lightning-bolt shaped-"_

He struggled to hear the rest of the words as the pounding grew louder and louder. It thundered through his ears as he strained to hear –

- The pounding of someone's fist against his chamber door. That it was, and nothing more. He half muttered a curse as the noise, instead of growing louder, grew more rapid and sharp. Getting out of bed, he yanked the door open, scowling his meanest.

"_What?!_"

Minerva stood on the other side of the threshold, with an unimpressed look on her face. "What indeed. Severus, Poppy wants you to brew a potion to extract the poison from mister Hatake; it seems that the magic has already rooted itself to the man, and Tsunade's chakra can no longer stop it from slowly decaying him from the inside."

Snape huffed, closing his eyes and rubbing his brow. Basilisk poison was… Different. Too different from any other venom. If that stubborn Kakashi hadn't already gained a good degree of immunity to other snakes, then even the small amount of basilisk poison that he'd ingested through various means would have already killed him. He was a damn lucky fool.

He was glad he needn't bother gathering supplies, as there was already a good set in the hospital wing (for emergencies, the matron had justified). Making sure he was presentable, he bid good day to the deputy head, and made his way to where that Hatake was.

He stepped inside the wing to find it only slightly lit, the shinobi moving restlessly in his bed, brow scrunched and sweating. Snape sneered at the sight, making his way toward the bed.

"Finally ready to take a potion, eh?" Unsurprisingly, Kakashi didn't answer. Snape sneered again, pulling his wand out and lightly resting it against the crook of the shinobi's elbow. He steadily drew the wand away, taking with it a sample of blood. Moving to the other side of the wing, he dropped the crimson fluid into a cauldron, and began casting spells on it, the results of which made his eyes widen.

Dear Merlin – Kakashi's blood was two-percent infected by the basilisk poison! He turned to stare incredulous eyes at the bed-bound shinobi. _How_ was he still alive…?

He sighed and shook his head. No, no time for pondering on the how's and whys; he had to find a way to counteract what had already been infected. Even so, as he prepared his ingredients, he still wondered on the man's reaction to the poison. And that was the real clincher, wasn't it? The fact that Kakashi's body had even reacted; Basilisk poison was so potent, the body failed before it could even begin to react. Yet… This Kakashi, he was an anomaly. Even with the fact that he'd only ingested a very small percentage of impure poison, it still should have shut his systems down and put him into a deep coma, at the very least.

Except, it didn't happen. Minerva had even told him that, for a brief period, Kakashi had been awake and aware – _responding_ to external influences! It just didn't make any sense.

As Severus set the potion to simmer, he reached into an inside breast pocket of his robes, withdrawing a crystal vial that shimmered even in the dim light. Carefully taking the stopper off, he let a single drop fall into the potion, making it sizzle and change into a substance that resembled molten gold. Using phoenix tears was the only thing he could think of adding to the elixir successfully; it should be able to target the remaining poison and eliminate it accordingly, before any more damage to the shinobi was done. It was a very rare ingredient, but thankfully the headmaster had a plentiful supply, which was the only reason he was trying to administer the tears a second time. Before, Kakashi's chakra and the mixture of poisonous basilisk magic had rejected the tears; they'd slid down his lips and away from his mouth, repelled by the chaotic mess the shinobi had made of himself. It didn't make sense. By all means, it should have worked then, but for some unknown reason it just hadn't happened. And Snape wasn't a man that liked not knowing things; he _would_ find out what was different about this particular shinobi.

As he administered the serum, he noticed the shinobi's features relaxing almost immediately, smoothing out and no-longer displaying such devastating anguish. Good. It looked like the magic was finally taking.

Almost without thinking, Severus took a cool, damp cloth and began dabbing it against the man's face. It wasn't because he cared; rather, he knew that both Pomphrey and Tsunade had been working tirelessly for several hours to keep this man stable enough so that his chakra wouldn't immediately reject any foreign magic (This was why shinobi and wizards shouldn't work together, Snape thought. It's simply impossible). They were both dozing in the hospital's office, and it would take a man more cruel than he to force two women awake for the simple task of lowering a temperature and making a patient more comfortable.

Snape's finger slipped slightly off the cloth, making contact with Hatake's skin – immediately, the shinobi's face scowled and gritted his teeth, a pulse of _something_ making it's way down Severus' arm and apparently causing the other man pain. Snape stopped, fascinated, and touched him again. The results were the same, and made the wizard wonder; was this magical, chakra, or just because the shinobi had overly sensitive nerves from his fever?

Strangely enough, each touch caused the man to sweat heavily from his brow. Snape had just about found his little experiment boring and unnecessary, when something in his vision made him stop cold where he stood. It was no longer just clear beads of sweat that fell from the man's forehead, but rivulets of blood had also made their way down the man's face. The headband he wore was turning a deep, grungy purple as he stood there and watched. Snapping himself out of his morbid trance, he quickly pushed up the headband to see what was causing the bleed, only to step back with eyes widened in shock.

_Lightning-bolt shaped scar._

No – no, it couldn't be possible. It wasn't. Shouldn't. Couldn't. This – this shell of a man wasn't…

_Lightning-bolt shaped –_

The messy hair. Hint of green in his eyes. Face shaped so familiar, a tangible joining of two faces he once knew.

He pulled his hand up to rub at his eyes – was this a hallucination? – To find warm, wet liquid smeared from his fingertips. He looked down to find blood on his hands and his own sleeve stained from underneath. With trembling fingers, he rolled it up – the dark mark, red and raw and stark against pale skin – bleeding and clotting and screaming down his flesh and - and –

- And it all made sense. The attitude. The immediate, subconscious dislike – and the extreme, negative reaction to the Dark Lord's magic. He looked up to see the lightning-bolt scar red and raw and bleeding in the same, harsh way.

It was nonsense; men – boys – couldn't age this much in such a short time. It shouldn't be possible – but apparently, this unlikely situation was actually happening. It was then that Kakashi's eyes seem to drag themselves open, blearily focusing on his own – they stood there, staring at each other in what seemed an age, but was in reality only a few seconds. Kakashi broke the gaze first, eyes twitching to just over Severus' shoulder; it was all the warning he had as a powerful grip grabbed his neck and spun him around to face a blaze of fury; Tsunade had awakened, and was not happy.

"You – _Death Eater!_ What the hell have you done to him?!"

"I – I –"

Snape found it difficult to breathe in this grip, let alone speak. He was still in shock at the astounding revelation that Hatake Kakashi and Harry Potter were not two different people. That asking one to search for the other had been pointless. That they had all been lied to. That the answer to all the wizarding world's problems was _right there_, lying weakly on a hospitable bed. And Dumbledore had been right; that stupid, old fool had somehow known all along.

A hoarse, barely inaudible croaking came from behind them. "Mm… 'kay..."

Immediately, Tsunade dropped Snape from where he'd been held and stormed her way to the shinobi's bedside. "Oh, Kakashi! You're alright!"

The man managed a crooked half-smile. He coughed, sounding like he was ripping his throat in two. "Wha'… Happened? I – I though'… I wa'… I wa' f'n'…"

"I'm so sorry. We made a mistake. We – I - thought that, since you were up and talking, that you were fine. We didn't… I'm so sorry we stopped the heavy treatment then. _So goddamn sorry._"

Snape looked on, realizing all that this man had been through in just one day. Bringing down a basilisk, being poisoned, going into tachycardia, slipping into a coma but being pulled out, and then slowly, apparently getting better. Waking up, being able to actually talk and communicating – only to seizure and go into cardiac arrest less than an hour later, poison still running through his veins, even now.

Snape had thought that, out of most wizards, he was one of the most durable. He'd survived being poisoned, tortured, attacked, brutalized, and humiliated… But he doubted that even he would be able to talk if he ever went through what Kakashi was going through now, let alone survive it.

It was strange. He'd never felt any respect for a shinobi before, especially not after riling them up and getting threatened. But this one… Hell, even despite his true identity, Severus couldn't stop it, and admitted to himself that he respected the man. Boy. A Potter. He respected a bliddy _Potter_. And no one would_ ever _get it out of him.

Snape's eyes darkened, wand raised against the pair. "You _lied_ to us." Just because Har-Kakashi had is grudging respect, didn't mean he trusted him. Either of them. Not after they'd all been betrayed.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "No. We didn't; we just… omitted the truth. What are you going to do now, Snape? Run off to both your masters and tell them of this? Are you going to bring both sides of this war down on Kakashi?"

The grip on Severus' wand tightened noticeably as he glanced down at the weak, immobile Hatake. The fools were right, and he damned them for it. If Albus knew… It might not be good news. Then again, it might not be bad, either; the headmaster's _precious_ weapon against the Dark Lord, already trained and dropped off on their doorstep. If Albus new, others would, too; the Order would be told. If word got out, he'd have to tell the Dark Lord…. They would loose the element of surprise; this secret manoeuvre that could win them the war…

Slowly, deliberately, and without breaking eye contact, the wizard lowered his arm. Protecting a Potter – he'd laugh miserably at himself if it wasn't so serious. The Hokage relaxed at his gesture, seals un-forming from her hands.

"No," he said, voice low and heavy. "I won't say anything. You can keep your secrets… For now. If I feel it would be in my best interests to inform others, well… Until then." He turned and left, cloak twirling behind his strong stride, a small smirk playing across his face. _He_ was the one with the power now. He held all the cards. It was only a question of which hand he should play.

It wasn't until he'd long gone that Tsunade let herself glance back at Kakashi, whose eyes were shut, a grimace across his features. This… Hadn't gone according to plan. A wizard knew the truth, far too soon for her liking; anytime was too soon for Kakashi.

Gently, she smoothed back his hair and mopped up the blood. "Relax, Kakashi. You've been through a lot. Let's get you better first, yeah? We'll worry about everything _later_."

She took his hitai-ate from him – it needed cleaning, sodden with blood as it was. She motioned to the wall across from the bed, and a figure materialised from the stone. "Come, Tenzou. You can report to me while I clean this mess up."

The other shinobi gave a curt nod, leaving behind a wooden bunshin to guard his now sleeping captain, and prepared to convey the news of a pissy, spoilt brat that needed a good kick in the behind, if it were up to him.

Back in his room, Snape collapsed on his bed, massaging his temples. Dear lord… What in Merlin's name was going on?

* * *

"Sasuke…" Came a long, drawn out whine from behind the boy in question. He twitched, face falling into a familiar scowl.

"I'm booored… Entertain me, bastard."

The Uchiha turned to glare at his teammate. "Find a board game or something; I'm not your _playmate_."

Naruto huffed and blew out his cheeks, eyes squinting and lips pouting. "C'mon, Sasuke-bastard. Everyone – even Sakura! – Is gone on the most exciting mission ever, and poor old us are stuck in boring old Konoha."

The other boy sighed. _Ho boy_… He knew where this was going. Again. Probably the same as yesterday, too – but faster.

As if he'd known what the boy was going to ask, Sasuke reached into his side pouch and brought out a large, bulging back of strong salt. The packaging was clear, with a bright red exclamation mark hastily scribbled on the front. A few white grains fell from his pocket.

Naruto's face became alight with glee. "All right… You spike their coffee. _I'll _cause the distraction this time."

Despite himself, Sasuke felt a smirk twitch at his lips. "Distraction? Dobe, you're a _walking_ distraction. I only pray to whatever god listening, that it's a better 'distraction' than that pathetic farce you attempted last time."

"Oi," the blonde warned, although a grin still split his face. "No worries; no harem jutsu this time. I have… Something _different_ in mind…" He giggled, and with a face of utter seriousness, brought before Sasuke a bucket full of the most nauseatingly coloured paint the Uchiha had ever seen, a handful of bright pink permanent markers, and a foul-smelling bag of something he really didn't want to know the contents of.

Sasuke's face twitched. "This… Isn't even funny, stupid." He sighed, rolling his eyes. "The ANBU are seriously going to kill you this time. They'll have you drawn and quartered."

Sasuke didn't dare admit that he'd been thinking of a plan along the same exact lines. No… It was entirely possible that Naruto's special brand of idiocy was entirely infectious.

Yes. Today, they'd definitely have to be a _lot _faster.

* * *

Ron remembered the day that everything changed. His belly had been warm and full, body relaxed and lethargic as he ambled alongside the other Gryffindor first years. He wondered about the troll that had gotten loose; was it big and bloody, or bogey green? Did it smell and screech, and lumber on large, rotting feet? Did it –

"_Hermione,"_

- Came a whisper from behind him. A scowl weighed down his face as his mood was sharpened by the mere mention of that annoying, bossy know-it-all. He didn't like her; not one bit! Her hair was too bushy and her teeth were too large and she enjoyed homework, of all things.

Even so, Ron strained his ears to hear the rest of Lavender's conversation; he was a curious little boy, and the topic was mildly interesting.

"It's such a shame," continued Lavender, "Poor Hermione; she didn't even get the chance to eat anything at the feast."

"Yeah," added Parvati, "I heard she'd been in the girls bathroom, crying. I think someone bullied her."

Lavender rolled her eyes. "You know she's probably going to complain about missing an important meal of the day later. And then we'll have to cheer her up – again!"

The rest of the chatter drowned under the buzzing between Ron's ears. A sudden lurch of horror gripped him, and his pace slowed to a halt.

Hermione… She hadn't been at the feast… She didn't even know about the troll!

Ron felt the beginnings of panic crawl up his spine. No… No, he had to warn her – before it was too late. As soon as his brother's back was turned, he ducked into the shadow of an alcove, and waited for the rest of the Gryffindors to file their way down the corridor. Once the last person had turned the corner, he ran down the other end and leapt down the stairs.

Breath coming in short gasps, he approached the toilets, blood pounding quickly and harshly against his ears.

"Hermione?" He called, but no one was around. He turned the corner, and was about to call again, but was cut off by a terrible crashing sound and a gut-wrenching, piercing scream.

It was a girl's scream – _Hermione's scream!_

His legs rooted in place as they shook, refusing to remove. _No… No… _His mind chanted over and over and over again, as the cracking and crashing and scraping of porcelain continued until - until…

… Until the screaming suddenly stopped.

Ron's mouth went dry, his mind numb. The sudden silence shocked him, and then a low, rumbling groan caused him to stumble back, almost collapsing against the stone wall behind him.

What if – what if she was unconscious? She'd be – could be – the troll would kill her!

A sudden energy possessed him as he sprinted across the remaining distance, only for a harsh, deep gasp to almost choke him as he inhaled, lungs straining at the sudden influx of cold air.

The bathroom was unrecognisable, bathroom doors and sinks demolished and strewn across the wide room. The mirrors were cracked and smashed and scattered across the floor. And there, lying motionless under a smattering of rubble was a small limp body. The ragged, tangled brown hair was splayed around the blue-tinged pale face, smeared in bright red. Her forehead was wrong – caved in – crushed – it oozed blood, eyes rolled back and glazed. The mouth hung open, lips torn and curling against her chin which jutted out at the wrong angle - her body was twisted wrong – all wrong – and she was dead – _dead –_ _deaddeadDEAD and it was all HIS FAULT –_

A familiar groan loomed ahead of him, and there, by a heap of debris, a hulk of – of _something_, shifted and moaned, rising until it was ten feet tall and two men wide. The Troll's leathery skin was a pasty grey, mottled and dank, pours seeping a grungy milky sweat. The limbs looked long and heavy as the arms draped against the tiles, torso bulked out and meaty, legs squashed and out of proportion. It squatted low against the floor, back hunched, small head squinting at him through beady black eyes and a yellow, snarling maw. It had no visible ears, and the skin across it's face looked stretched and taught, nose pressed upwards against it's own face, nostrils flaring and bunged up with a thick substance.

It sniffed – the rattling breath snorting the snot into it's lungs, which it then spat out harshly, the murky liquid spraying over Hermione's prone form – and the sight of the monster insulting her memory in such a way set such a rage inside of Ron that he almost went blind from it.

He roared and leapt forward, swinging his wand around – swish and flick – WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA – the crudely carved club shooting from the floor, away from the beast's grip and impacting with the underside of it's chin, head snapping back as it stumbled, dazed.

But he didn't stop there; his wand arm, shaking, continued to lash out and brutally attack the troll with its own weapon, watching in grim satisfaction as the monster would twitch and spasm against the full force of his anger.

"_MR WEASLEY!_" Came a hurried, panicked voice which snapped him out of his rage, arm stopping and dropping by his side as he realized that the troll had stopped moving two minutes ago.

He turned to his head of house, face stark and pale, red hair bright and fierce against his tear-streaked wide-eyed face. He sniffed – and gave a half-sob, half-wretched gurgle of delirium.

"It – She – sheshe-" Professor McGonagall took a step forward, but stopped as he stumbled back. "I – I – I couldn't stop it professor I'm so –I'm so – It killed her professor –_ It killed her- _"

Whatever rage had been keeping his legs upright was suddenly spent and they collapsed beneath him, not noticing as the professor cradled him, feeling hollow and empty and raw.

He stared, feeling hollow and numb and emotionless, as Professor Snape crouched over the body of the schoolgirl. An emotion – grief? Regret? – Passed over the man's face, before his head lowered in a slight token of respect. A spidery, calloused hand reached forward.

Hermione Granger's cold dead eyes closed for the very last time.


End file.
